9 Most Insane Things Your Tax Dollars Support Through Shady “Ex-Im” Bank

The Export-Import Bank is a quasi-governmental enterprise, backed by taxpayers, that gives cheap credit to private companies for overseas deals... Their annual reports have gaping omissions, they have incestuous relationships with some of the companies receiving loans, and they have sought a taxpayer bailout in the past… Plus a recent report revealed that Ex-Im bank is projected to cost taxpayers $2 BILLION! So, your money could be on the line should any of their zany schemes go awry! Here are 9 “Ex-Im” loans you might not believe the government makes you support:

9. Private Jets & Helicopters for Wealthy Foreigners

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A staggering $1 billion in private aircraft sales have been subsidized during the Obama presidency.

Pictured: Reenactment of a concerned taxpayer attempting to stop this waste, but don’t give up little guy! Congress simply has to let Ex-Im’s charter expire this year and we’ll ground that expensive chopper.

8. Green Energy Boondoggles

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A long list of expensive, struggling, and of course politically connected flops from Solyndra and First Solar to freakin’ Enron have been backed by Ex-Im. Yes, Enron!

Just tagging along as another way for politicians to hand cash to their friends is not a good way to seem unique and useful Ex-Im!

7. Middle Eastern Power

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Green energy busts for us, nuclear power for the United Arab Emirates thanks to $4 billion in Ex-Im loans, plus $5 billion for a Saudi petrochemical site. But hey, you can’t expect "energy-starved" people like those in the Middle East to buy their own luxury cars and cheetahs.

6. Wikipedia Page Propaganda

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One lucky intern spent their summer tailoring Ex-Im’s Wikipedia page to fit their PR spin – because influencing the elusive half-asleep 2 A.M. Wiki-wormhole crowd is worth it!

5. Dunkin' Donuts Equipment

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Huh?! Dunkin Donuts is a $4.5 billion company, why would they need potentially millions of dollars from Ex-Im to buy store equipment?

4. Hair Care Products to Russia

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If you’re going to flaunt the international community and call America’s bluff, Ex-Im will make sure you look good doing it! Maybe amusing Vlad is worth the cost?

3. Pickles!

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A pickle company is held up by Ex-Im as one of their success stories, but in reality, the company already managed to export their products abroad before Ex-Im lifted a finger.

2. Movies (& Reality T.V. *gasp*)

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There is already a financing infrastructure for films, but somehow Ex-Im decided flops like “United States of Leland” and “High Voltage” needed funding. Ryan Gosling should not require taxpayer financing.

1. Drug Cartels

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Ex-Im “breaks bad” with up to $243 million in loans to the Juarez and Sinaloa drug cartels through contacts with non-existent companies. Surely they’ll get this misunderstanding sorted out, no problem…