Skip To Content

    19 Valentine's Day Tweets That Are Probably Funnier Than Any Date

    "I’m looking forward to taking my wife to the dining room."

    Happy Valentine's Day! May your day be delightful, whether you're in love or planning on spending the evening eating a frozen pizza alone in your room, trying to get out of the way of your roommates, who have far more romantic plans in the living room, like the lonely rat that you are.

    So no matter your relationship status, here are some great tweets you might enjoy:


    how can my manager ask who’s single and ask them all to work valentines day 😂😂

    Twitter: @hannakaleem


    In case you need a last minute Valentine’s Day card...

    Twitter: @joejonas


    my relationship has faced no bigger threat than my girlfriend watching teenagers on tiktok go all out for valentine’s day

    Twitter: @_RobertSchultz


    I’m looking forward to taking my wife to the dining room for Valentine’s Day.

    Twitter: @ConanOBrien


    Save money this Valentine's Day by being unlovable

    Twitter: @Sorrowscopes


    Spice things up on Valentine's Day with some role-playing! Maybe the role of someone your lover hasn't seen in the same sweatpants every day for 11 months.

    Twitter: @StephenAtHome


    Gettin arrested on Valentine’s Day so I can say I was cuffed

    Twitter: @pxpimus


    Twitter: @_Snape_


    My COVID vaccine is booked for the 14th of February... so hey at least someone will be sticking something in me this Valentine’s Day

    Twitter: @graceemjr


    made my boyfriend a special pandemic valentine’s cake

    Twitter: @monicaheisey


    Valentine’s Day alentines day lentines day entines day ntines day tines day ines day nes day es day s day day ay ayyy let’s get drunk!

    Twitter: @sadgirlxph


    Twitter: @halal_bat


    Twitter: @LAVIDAPRADA


    Guys someone tried to do something sweet for valentines for me and someone stole it from in front of my door😂😭 I hate south man

    Twitter: @abbyaccra


    Twitter: @Seinfeld2000


    Wishing an absolutely miserable Valentine’s Day to ELAINE CHAO.

    Twitter: @billyeichner


    Happy Valentine’s Day ♥️ little throw back to make you laugh 😂🤣

    Twitter: @sassalinaa
    A text exchange where someone asks his bae if she likes Barcelona and Paris, she says yes, and then he responds with the time of the PSG vs Barca soccer match


    annual valentine’s day card for all my beautiful followers

    Twitter: @harrismayer


    I didn’t believe social media when they said all the Alfredo is sold out for Valentine’s Day so I went to the store myself and guess what

    Twitter: @ITSDJFLOW

    How are you spending this Valentine's Day? LMK in the comments!