Content warning: Discussion of suicide.
Former Little Mix member Jesy Nelson opened up about her mental health during her time in the band.
Jesy announced that she was leaving the band in December last year, writing on Instagram, "The truth is recently being in the band has really taken a toll on my mental health. I find the constant pressure of being in a girl group and living up to expectations very hard."
In a new interview with the Guardian, Jesy explained how online abuse and body issues led to her attempting suicide.
Back in 2013, Little Mix appeared on The X Factor UK — and the amount of criticism and online negativity surrounding her body affected her. “I thought, What is the fucking point? I’m literally starving myself," Jesy explained. "I’ve drunk Diet Coke for a week and I’m still getting called fat. I went into a really dark place and did what I did." She was then hospitalized for an overdose.
Jesy was hospitalized again after filming the music video "Sweet Melody" last year. “In lockdown I’d just become a little porky pig and eaten whatever I wanted, and then they’d sprung on us two weeks prior, ‘Oh, you’ve got a music video.’ I got in a panic because I’d put on weight," Jesy said.
"They were like, ‘You’ve got to wear a bikini!’ Obviously, I don’t have to wear it, but I knew I couldn’t be in a video with the other three wearing a bikini and me in a dressing gown. I got in such a state about having to lose weight in two weeks and wear a bikini. I went back to work and was really down about myself.”
“I did the music video and had a panic attack, and it was pretty mental that day," she tearfully continued. “After the video, I just got back in a really dark place and ended up back in hospital. That was when my mum said, ‘No more.’”
“I had already decided. Then the [Little Mix] girls spoke to mum and said, ‘We think Jesy should come out of this now. She has to look after herself.’”
"I know there are people who think I’ve let the other girls down, and that I’m so selfish, but I do think there comes a time in life when you do have to be selfish and look after yourself, and it was really affecting me mentally,” she added.
Jesy previously explained how the "Sweet Melody" video led to her leaving the band, saying earlier this year, “The last music video we did ['Sweet Melody'] was the breaking point. We’d been in lockdown, and [that had been] the first time I could have a break and be at home around people that I love. It was the happiest I’d ever felt, and I didn’t realize that until I went back to work.”
You can read the full Guardian interview here.
The National Eating Disorders Association helpline is 1-800-931-2237; for 24/7 crisis support, text “NEDA” to 741741.
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. Other international suicide helplines can be found at befrienders.org. The Trevor Project, which provides help and suicide-prevention resources for LGBTQ youth, is 1-866-488-7386. You can also text TALK to 741741 for free, anonymous 24/7 crisis support in the US and UK from the Crisis Text Line.