back to top

27 Lessons Every English Student Must Learn When They Move To Scotland

"Welcome to Scotland, bawbags."

Posted on

1. Scotland is probably a lot further away than you thought.

instagram.com

Getting a train from Kings Cross and feeling like Harry Potter is all very well and good until you realise you're just going to be stuck in a speeding tin can full of other people's farts for six hours.

2. It is so far, in fact, that the winter nights are actually longer there than they are in most of England.

instagram.com

But on the plus side, summer days are much longer.

Advertisement

5. THE MONEY.

instagram.com

It is different and first you will be suspicious, but then you will learn to be offended when it is rejected from shops in England despite being legal currency.

6. You struggle to understand the Scottish accents.

National Broadcasting Company (NBC) / Via ribbygreen.tumblr.com

But don't want to seem like a prick constantly asking people to repeat themselves, so you just nod and smile.

Advertisement

9. Your Scottish flat is probably a lot nicer than anything you can afford down south, and a whole lot cheaper.

instagram.com

Shoutout to 18th century Scottish town planning and Georgian architecture in general.

10. But then you quickly realise that all those beautiful old flats are indescriminately infested with mice.

reddit.com

And those mice, after generations of living in the same buildings, have evolved to avoid all forms of traps. All you can do is stuff the gaps under your skirting boards with steel wool and accept that you have 100 rodent flatmates.

11. But the mice are also the greatest social equaliser.

instagram.com

Edinburgh's New Town, Glasgow's and Aberdeen's respective West Ends, basically all of St Andrews: They're all infested with mice.

12. The NHS is much better.

MGM Cartoon Studio / Turner Entertainment Co. / Warner Bros. Entertainment / Via reddit.com

Free prescription medicine! Free eye tests! Oh Scotland, you glorious socialist utopia.

13. Scottish and EU students don't pay student fees.

Universal Pictures

But English students can pay up to £9000 per year at some Universities. Serves us right for everything, really, I suppose.

Advertisement

14. Independence is a very divisive topic.

instagram.com

Don't bring it up unless you're prepared for the debate that will follow.

15. The Scottish are very hardy.

vine.co

"You pansy Southerners with your umbrellas and your coats. Viking blood is enough to keep a Scot warm."

16. But you quickly become hardy too, probably because your beautiful Georgian windows are only single glazed.

instagram.com

Curse you, strict Scottish building regulations and cheapskate landlords.

17. Scottish degrees are a year longer than English ones.

Dog joins graduation ceremony after helping his owner complete his university degree @BBCNews http://t.co/ml9bP62wc5

And at the end of it you get an MA instead of a BA, but it isn't the equivalent of actually doing a Masters degree. It's all very complicated.

18. A "full English breakfast" becomes a "full Scottish breakfast".

instagram.com

Made Scottish by the addition of potato scones and haggis.

Advertisement

19. Irn Bru. Irn Bru everywhere.

Only in Scotland will you have a dedicated Irn Bru section in Asda

22. There is no British produce in shops. Only Scottish.

Anyone know why @sainsburys strawberries from Kent are 'British' while those from Fife are 'Scottish'?

23. Scottish water is much nicer.

vine.co

Much of England has hard water (i.e. mineral rich water), whereas most of Scotland has very soft water (with few minerals). Try not to freak out at how limescale-free your kettle is.

Advertisement

24. It is illegal to sell alcohol after 10PM.

watching posh English freshers trying to buy alcohol in Morrison's after 10pm is priceless. Welcome to Scotland bawbags

And so you will get very well acquainted with the Scottish tradition of the 9.45PM alcohol run.

27. And it's easy to see why there are so many tourists – in Scotland, you're never too far from beautiful scenery.

instagram.com

💖Scotland💖

Every. Tasty. Video. EVER. The new Tasty app is here!

Dismiss