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19 Tweets That'll Make You Think Hard And Laugh Even Harder

"Beware diet advice that recommends "eating light," for that is most certainly the way you become a black hole"

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1. This incredible commitment to a joke:

Great news, everbody! It took several months of intensive research, experimentation, and trial-and-error, but at long last I have (1/2)

2. This excellent pun:

The tenth Fast and Furious movie should be called Fast 10: Your Seatbelts

3. This lesson in screenwriting:

Password must contain capital letter, a number, an emotional arc, a male lead "struggling w/inner demons" & a strong female character.

4. This ominous prediction:


5. This example of perfect curation:

*people perpetuating national stereotypes during floods* is one of my favourite photographic genres. 🇫🇷 🇬🇧 🇮🇹 🇦🇺

6. This pocket-sized oxymoron:

7. This "the floor is" joke to end all other "the floor is" jokes:

8. This joke you'll now think of every time it's unbearably hot:

It's so hot a Tennessee Williams play just broke out in my room


9. This perfect pun:

When it skulks on a reef And has two sets of teeth ... That's a moray.

10. And this equally perfect response to it:

@olivernmoody @dontattempt When these circles collide and their lines coincide That's a moiré

11. These rewritten lyrics:

It's the remix to ignition Hot and fresh out the kitchen 4,000 homes for rough sleepers And you won't have to pay f…

12. This foiled plan:

At the very least, you've got to use a smaller font, guys.


13. This graph, which technically is not wrong at all:

One of the fifth-graders I work with made this in his science class. It wasn't even for a grade.

14. This interesting backstory:

Another juggler gives up on his dreams...

15. This helpful tip on how to get to your goal weight, if your goal weight is in the negative numbers:

beware diet advice that recommends "eating light," for that is most certainly the way you become a black hole

16. This perfect irony:


17. This double-whammy of dog puns:

18. This perceptive wife and/or predictable husband:

WIFE: This is for a tweet isn't it...

19. This sly threat:

this is so great, i love my school