1.
Person: Frank Ocean’s music is so boring, you can’t even dance to it Me, an intellectual:
2.
WHY IS THIS PIGEON PRETENDING TO BE A CHICKEN
3.
cool that ariana grande forgives her exes. also cool that every day I relish in the memory of mine calling, furious, asking why i let him believe björk was pronounced “bork” for 2 years and that he just embarrassed himself at a party
4.
Someone posted this to our neighborhood message board and I will never recover.
5.
please enjoy this video i found on reddit of a dog trying to steal another smaller dog
6.
i just still can’t believe this is a real scene from doctor who, and not an edit courtesy of gay twitter
7.
me, as a kid, getting socks as a present: oh... cool... thanks... me getting socks as a present now:
8.
everyday i live in constant fear that someone is out to get me. i dont recall the last time i woke up feeling safe. no matter where i go i hear the same thing, “let’s get this bread”. i dont know what ive done to deserve this but i hope one day ppl see me for more than what i am https://t.co/QNt8fufQAq
9.
the sun from the teletubbies be like:
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I DID once get stabbed and that’s almost exactly what I said word for word! https://t.co/Udu1FltuZ0
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this is a return ticket
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Did steamed rice write this
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you: weird flex but ok an intellectual: odd gloat but understandable nonetheless me, a genius: peculiar boast but alas
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Saw this about 4 hours ago and I’ve not stopped laughing since.
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⚪️ I don’t like this ad ⚪️ Why am I seeing this ad? 🔘 This ad overheard my conversations
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i’ve either made a great discovery or a terrible mistake
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Therapist: What's wrong? Me: If I do the Borat voice once more, I'll be getting a divorce Therapist: And who told you that? Me: *tearfully clears throat*
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BOSS: why are you late? ME:
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Hey baby I hear the blues a-callin'
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Karl Marx, 1847
21.
what?? I bought my ticket like you did. https://t.co/DL596wWwx8