For example, Australians eat Vegemite, even though Marmite exists???
And koalas have these things called cloacas which are essentially an all-in-one orifice.
Plus you have this really bright thing in the sky a lot and it's called "the sun".
But the weirdest thing of all. The weirdest thing of all, guys, is that you sometimes just don't wear shoes.
You just walk around in cafés ordering your high-quality coffee and vegan banana bread without any shoes on, like it's no big deal.
You leave your house, lock the door, completely barefoot, and not for a second do you think, Something is terribly wrong here.
How can it be??? How can it be that the home of Ugg boots is a place where people just don't wear shoes sometimes???
And it isn't just in the little beach towns. In the middle of Sydney I saw a woman walking her dog in a park without any shoes on. I was so shocked I didn't think to take a picture so here is an artistic rendition.
And then there's this guy, who is just barefoot in an airport.
Just totally barefoot. Just there, barefoot, in the airport.
Which means that he drove however long it took for him to get to the airport, then stood there, in that place through which hundreds of people pass through each day, and he did not have the foresight to wear shoes.
In fact, he made the conscious decision to not wear shoes. He thought to himself, Should I wear shoes to the airport today, that place in which many people and many germs pass through each and every day, that place that definitely has cold concrete floors and heavy machinery and luggage rolling around? Nah.
Please don't take this the wrong way, Australia. I admire your laidback attitude towards footwear.
It's a beautiful thing and exactly what I expect of Australia.
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