1. Your flatmates hate you because they’re always having to run to the door to sign for your parcel.2. Your neighbours hate you because they basically always have a package for you in their porch.3. Or you’re now great friends with your neighbours, because if it wasn’t for your constant stream of missed packages, you may never have even met them.4. Your whole inbox is basically just brand newsletters.5. Your main morning activity is unsubscribing to newsletters you signed up to once two years ago just to get a 10% discount on something you returned anyway.6. You are basically always at the post office with a return.7. You actually hate real, physical shops.8. You have no idea why someone would bother venturing out to a real, physical shop during the sales when they can have the exact same results but stay in bed for the process.9. You’re on first name terms with your postman.10. And your DPD driver.11. And your Hermes drivers.12. In fact, you know you’d recognise each one of them if you bumped into them, out of uniform, on the street, and probably have a nice chat.13. You get so many packages delivered to your work that your colleagues have noticed.14. And take the piss out of you for it.15. Whoever is in charge of sorting out the post at your work kind of hates you for it, too.16. You’ve literally been through 46554334 pages of stuff when trying to find something specific.17. You might be terrible with numbers in any other context except remembering your credit card details.18. Which means you’ve made more than one regrettable drunk purchase.19. You probably have at least four items in your cart on more websites than you can remember.20. You’re pretty much always scared to check your bank balance.21. But you’re pretty much always expecting a refund, so it's never ~really~ that bad.22. You know full well that 80% of the time whatever you buy online will never fulfill your expectation, but you’re still disappointed and surprised.23. That never stops you from ordering again.24. You put a shopping ban on yourself every couple off weeks.25. You can never really stick to the shopping ban.26. Whenever someone calls you out for your online shopping addiction, you like to remind them there could be much worse things you might be addicted to.27. And most importantly, they know you always have a discount code you can share with them.
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