1. Money disappears very quickly:
$20 is like an adult dollar
2. "Day to night" is not really a thing:
Women’s magazines really convinced me that “going from day to night” was going to be a big part of my adult life, but so far it has not come up.
3. You'd probably have to pay for a premium Caribbean cruise to encounter the Bermuda Triangle:
as a child i thought i'd have to deal with the bermuda triangle a lot more than i have in my adult life
4. Socks are a great gift:
Me getting gifted socks as a child vs getting socks as an adult.
5. Nothing will ever compare to the Scholastic book fair:
I've spent my whole adult life chasing the high of a scholastic book fair
6. It's very confusing:
Being an adult is like being a Quentin Tarantino movie: it starts out real cool, there's lots of cursing, it's very confusing, everyone dies
7. Your punishments become your daily life:
When parents say to kids "go to ur room & think about what you've done" it's really good practice for what you'll do every night as an adult
8. Your back hates you:
what i thought adulthood would be like: wow what a great day, my back doesnt hurt, having a perfectly normal day where my back doesnt hurt, just another day of my back not hurting what adulthood is actually like: maybe today will be the day my back doesnt hu-- oh NOP it hurts
9. Honestly, your life is just ruled by your lower back and its tantrums:
10. It's exciting! In a bad way:
Exciting perks of adulthood: 1. Busy! Busy all the time! What are you even doing? You don't know! 2. Very tired. 3. Some kinda stomach ache??? 4. Definitely sad about something. 5. Bills! Bills all the time! What are you even paying for? You don't know!
11. Self-discovery doesn't necessarily end in the way you had hoped:
Adolescence versus adulthood.
12. Happy Meals are off the table:
My 4 year old cousin said "if a Happy Meal is for kids, then grown-ups must eat Sad Meals" and it was the most real thing I've ever heard.
13. Literally no one cares about your favourite dinosaur:
When you become a grown up, people stop asking you what your favourite dinosaur is. They don't even care.
14. Every day is a disappointing birthday:
6yo: What’s it like being a grown up? ME: You know that feeling you get when you unwrap a present and it’s not what you wanted?
15. Bars feel like dairy farms:
Please stop inviting me to bars where I have to stand up the whole time I'm not a dairy cow
16. You've got to stay hydrated all the time:
You’ll grow up not every really knowing if you deserve love, but one day you’ll meet someone who loves you, and you’ll be able to accept yourself. Then, once they really get to know you, they’ll find you unbearable and leave, but the important thing is to stay hydrated.
17. It is relentless and mostly unchanging until you die:
BACK TO SCHOOL OR IF YOU ARE AN ADULT THE WHEEL CONTINUES RELENTLESSLY SPINNING LARGELY WITHOUT CHANGE
18. And wine is the most redeeming part:
My adult life just peaked