What are gender roles? Well, by dictionary definition, gender roles are "A set of societal norms dictating what types of behaviors are generally considered acceptable, appropriate, or desirable for a person based on their actual or perceived sex." But I feel a little differently. To me, gender roles are very toxic and harmful. Gender roles are the very root of sexism. When a little boy wants to be a ballerina, people question his sexuality and tell him to man up. When a little girl takes interest in a sport, she is laughed at and told to go home and play with her dolls. Just because someone is more feminine or masculine does not make them "gay" or a "crybaby" or a "dyke", it simply means they have a mind complex enough to realize what is wrong in our society. Gender roles are more than girls being pink and boys being blue, because gender roles affect the non-binary people, too. Non-binary, also termed as gender-queer or gender-expansive, is a catch-all category for gender identities that are not exclusively masculine or feminine—identities which are thus outside of the gender binary and cisnormativity. There are more than just men and women, and that's something a lot of people fail to realize. Gender roles hurt our society because we lack support of those who decide to break the rules of gender roles, and lack support of those who experience things that their gender supposedly isn't supposed to go through
(TW!). Let's take abusive relationships for an example.
When a woman is abused by her male significant other, she is seen as a victim who needs help. When a man a man is abused by his female significant other, he is laughed at and called harmful names. Where does it say that men can't be hurt? Where does it say that women can't hurt others? These kinds of toxic gender roles can harm so many people, that it's actually kind of scary. Another example is body shaming. When Kim Kardashian posts a nude selfie, she is slut-shamed like no tomorrow, there are comments saying how a mom shouldn't do such things, and how she should save that for her husband, etc. When David Beckham poses shirtless for a magazine, he is praised and gawked at. There is never any mention of his wife or four kids, or any type of shame. What is the difference? They are both humans showing their bodies. There should be no difference in reaction.
This type of nature and behavior is what stems so much sexism, not only in the media, but in our everyday lives. Let's talk about dress codes for a second. Anyone who's ever gone to high school knows that dress codes exist. No spaghetti straps, no booty shorts, and you must wear a bra! Why do dress codes only apply to girls? Why can a sleazy guy walk around with his pants sagging down to the floor, but a girl can't show her shoulders? What is so provocative about a shoulder that it distracts a boy from his education? If I were in charge of a school; I would punish the boys for sexualizing the girls, I wouldn't punish the girl for dressing appropriately to the weather. When we enforce dress codes, we are making a statement that a boys education is worth more than a girls, and that is how we make it back to sexism and gender roles. Boys can cry. Girls can be aggressive. Boys can play with dolls. Girls can play with cars. Boys are more than just muscles and strength. Girls are more than just something to stare at. Non-binary people exist. They are not just "confused". They aren't required to abide by your toxic "rules". Gender is what you feel inside, not what you have in your pants.
No one is required to do anything that they don't want to do. Regardless of gender. We are all strong, we are all beautiful, and we are all allowed to do whatever makes us happy.
When parents ingrain in their children's minds that girls are just supposed to be pretty, and that boys are supposed to be everything else under the sun, except for feminine and weak; girls grow up doubting themselves, and boys grow up hiding their emotions or covering them up in harsh ways. If a girl doesn't wear makeup she's "gross and unfeminine", if a boy wears makeup he's "probably gay", and if a non-binary does anything, they're misgendered and seen as "confused".
Girls, you should feel comfortable doing whatever the hell you want! You wanna wear makeup? Cool! You don't? That's cool too! You have body hair? Great, so does everybody else on this planet, and you aren't required to do anything about it unless you actually really want to! You like sports? That's an amazing interest! Do what makes you happy, and stop worrying about what everyone else thinks! As long as you approve of yourself, who cares?
Boys, you should also feel comfortable doing whatever the hell you want! Wear makeup if you'd like, contouring is fun! Be a ballerina if you want to, point those toes! Get your eyebrows done if you like the way you look, make sure those babies are on fleek! Do what you love, it doesn't matter what they think.
Non-binaries! You are not required to conform to just one gender! You can do anything you want to, and you don't have to do anything that you don't want do. Being more feminine or masculine doesn't define who you are. You are not just confused, no matter what they say. I know that it is just not a phase. Shout it from the rooftops until everybody understands you. If they don't respect your pronouns, they don't respect you.
As a great author once said: Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind, don't matter.
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