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1. A programmable timer that transforms your hose and sprinkler into a ~sprinkler system~: you just press a few buttons to tell it when to water, how long to water, and how often to repeat.
2. A quick-to-install drip irrigation system so you can kick back, chill out, and just plain enjoy your garden instead of constantly watering.
3. Or a soaker hose you can run through your beds and along your rows of veggies to keep them hydrated all season long.
4. A chemical-free miracle weeder that doesn't require bending down to pull up those rogue dandelions sprouting between your rows of squash.
5. And a hand-weeder if you need to tackle the pesky ones growing right up next to your row of carrots.
6. Plus while we're on the subject of weeds: the Weed Snatcher, a specialty tool that makes digging out the dandelions sprouting in your sidewalk, driveway, or patio a cinch.
7. A Seeding Square kit, which makes applying the Square Foot Gardening method (and generally just evenly spacing your seeds or plants) quick and straightforward.
8. A raised, irrigated porch garden that you can basically guarantee veggies, herbs, or flowers from whether you keep it on your home's patio or set it out on your apartment's balcony.
9. Some sleek slate row labels — they'll proudly proclaim which plant in your garden is which.
10. Or 10-inch copper ones because they stand out elegantly, no matter how you decide to label them.
11. A silvery baby elephant watering pail who will cheerily help you keep your container garden in tip-top shape.
12. But if you don't like refilling a pail over and over, a handy nozzle for your hose with seven different settings that can gently shower your plants and blast dirt off your car's wheels.
13. Or a 24-inch-long brass ~watering lance~ to make it easy to reach deep into rows of fully-grown plants.
14. A no-batteries-required meter that'll report on your soil's moisture levels, letting you know instantly if your container garden (or houseplant!) needs a drink.
15. A minimalist gardening knife (aka a hori hori) so you can tackle almost any task, whether you're weeding, digging, pruning, measuring, or harvesting.
16. A modular garden bed kit made completely out of recycled, food-grade plastic that instantly snaps together into the perfect 22x22-inch raised box.
17. A pair of socks perfect for a leisurely Saturday afternoon spent tending all your favorite green and growing things.
18. A pair of mini pruners that'll make quick and precise work of snipping off deadheads, so your flowering bushes and vines bloom and bloom and bloom.
19. Or a pair of ergonomic heavier-duty pruners because they might actually last you for years, no matter how often you use them.
20. A pair of gloves to protect your hands *without* making you s-w-e-a-t more in the summer heat, because they're made from breathable bamboo.
21. Or a pair of longer rose gauntlet gloves so you can shield your hands and arms from prickly thorns, whether you're pruning bushes or plucking blooms for a vase.
22. A padded kneeler that flips upside-down into a sturdy seat so you can get down and dirty with your favorite plants despite any back or knee pain.
23. Or a simple memory foam kneeling pad if you'd rather just tote around something smaller.
24. And if you're up and down enough that even carrying a kneeling pad's kind of annoying: a pair of super soft kneepads you can adjust for the perfect fit.
25. A durable PVC potting bench that'll keep all of your favorite tools and potting supplies handy so it's never a hassle to repot a plant that needs it.
26. A handy storage apron — it will keep all your tools (and your phone) out of the way but still close at hand, as you tend row after row of your perfect lettuce crop.
27. A little wooden house because any good garden needs pollinators, and this attracts gentle mason bees, who are more than happy to oblige.
28. Supportive, waterproof clogs that you can easily slip on whenever you want to wander or work in your garden.
29. A wall gardening system for growing your own outdoor green wall art.
30. An adjustable rake with a telescoping handle that will probably be the only rake you ever need.
31. A gardening wagon / dump cart that'll cheerfully tote all your new flowers around, then help you move heavy bags of mulch and soil right where they need to be, no problem.
32. And...a gnomezilla sure to bring a smile to your face every time you encounter him.
Now go enjoy your garden, no matter how big or small!
The reviews in this post have been edited for length and clarity.