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This Doritos Ranch Queso Is The Drunk Snack You Deserve

Doritos. Beer. Velveeta.

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This is Cool Ranch Doritos Beer Queso.

Ryan Simmons for BuzzFeed Life

AKA The best drunk snack for anyone who like cheese, beer, and Doritos.

Ryan Simmons for BuzzFeed Life

BEHOLD.

Ryan Simmons for BuzzFeed Life

Remember these directions well, for the next time you're in need of an easy boozy snack.

Step 1: SMASH THE DORITOS.

Ryan Simmons for BuzzFeed Life

Put them in a plastic bag. Zip it up. Bang it on the table until all the Doritos are just Doritos crumbs.

Step 2: Cut the Velveeta loaf into cubes.

Ryan Simmons for BuzzFeed Life
Ryan Simmons for BuzzFeed Life

Yes, they call it a loaf.

Step 3: Put the Velveeta in a pot and add a bottle of beer.*

We used Blue Moon because that's what we had on hand, but you can use different beers for different queso ~flavor profiles~. We're trying PBR next. *You can take a sip or two out of it first, if you want.
Ryan Simmons for BuzzFeed Life

We used Blue Moon because that's what we had on hand, but you can use different beers for different queso ~flavor profiles~. We're trying PBR next.

*You can take a sip or two out of it first, if you want.

Step 4: Let it melt over medium-low heat, stirring every once in a while, until it's ~velvety~ smooth.

Ryan Simmons for BuzzFeed Life

And drinking whenever you're not stirring. This will take about five to seven minutes.

Step 5: Turn off the heat, and stir in your Dorito crumbs.

Taste. Smash more Doritos and stir 'em if you want more Cool Ranch flavor.
Ryan Simmons for BuzzFeed Life

Taste. Smash more Doritos and stir 'em if you want more Cool Ranch flavor.

Step 6: Put in a fancy serving container (or, you know, a regular bowl). Top with whatever your heart desires.

Ryan Simmons for BuzzFeed Life

More Doritos? Pickled jalapeƱos? Cilantro? Pico de gallo? Onions? The possibilities are literally endless.

Step 7: Eat. With MORE DORITOS.

Why would you eat this with normal chips when you could eat it with more Doritos? You wouldn't.
Ryan Simmons for BuzzFeed Life

Why would you eat this with normal chips when you could eat it with more Doritos?

You wouldn't.

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