1.
When Nicki Minaj appeared in the desert, thigh first, in a crocheted leotard.
2.
When she stunned and terrified this lurker.
3.
When she simultaneously snarled her lip and her earring.
4.
When she kept her hair out of the way while she arched her back.
5.
When she perfected the over-the-shoulder mean mug.
6.
When she did pilates in a lucite chair.
7.
When she invented the ponytail victory lap.
8.
When she used her hip to show off her manicure.
9.
When she was feeling herself.
10.
When she paused to confirm she had no time for you.
11.
When she took a practice shot.
13.
When she took a deep, relaxing inhale.
14.
And glared straight into the eye of her competition.
15.
Then popped her shoulder and silenced her foes, without missing a beat.
16.
When she dropped her hair.
18.
When she grabbed her guns.
19.
And set them off at no one, because no one can touch her.
