Note: Episode 3 of Looking airs Saturday, Feb. 1, at 10:30 p.m. on HBO, but it is currently available on HBO Go. SPOILER ALERT if you have not seen it yet!
19. This bartender:
WHO: Dom’s co-worker, who tells him not to sleep with the new busboy.
WHAT’S ON HIS FACE: A full beard, y’all.
BONUS POINTS: This guy is losing a lot of hair in the front. Smart move to make up for it with some strong sideburns. Good job, good effort.
17. The oncologist Patrick met on OKCupid:
WHO: Probably one of the most annoying characters on the show so far. He makes Patrick feel really awkward on their horrible first date.
WHAT’S ON HIS FACE: A healthy dusting of scruff.
MINUS POINTS: For being such a horrible date.
WHO: The fiancé of Patrick’s ex-boyfriend Jason. Patrick describes him as “portly” and he’s not totally wrong.
WHAT’S ON HIS FACE: A whole damn fluffy situation.
BONUS POINTS: Gabe has two things that Patrick doesn’t: facial hair and a (soon-to-be) husband.
15. The hairy guy in the woods:
WHO: The guy Patrick meets while cruising in the park.
WHAT’S ON HIS FACE: Well, Patrick fairly described his level of hairiness later as “gym teacher hairy.”
BONUS POINTS: Those shiny silver specks peppered in for good measure.
WHO: Patrick’s best friend and a floundering artist who’s just moved in with his boyfriend.
WHAT’S ON HIS FACE: There’s a full-face situation happening here.
MINUS POINTS: Unfortunately, that overly furry soul patch he’s got makes him lose a few points. Boy needs to get to a barber and get the beast under control.
13. This blond dude:
WHO: Just a rando at Jason’s bachelor party.
WHAT’S ON HIS FACE: Some Spencer Pratt-esque blond fur.
BONUS POINTS: For having such a good time at a shared bachelor party.
11. This cool deck hand/bouncer:
WHO: This saluting stud greets Patrick and Owen when they arrive at their company’s boat party.
WHAT’S ON HIS FACE: Scruff, trimmed with military precision.
BONUS POINTS: The cool shades.
10. This random daddy partygoer:
WHO: He only appears for a split second in the third episode, but it’s the best second.
WHAT’S ON HIS FACE: Perfect salt-and-pepper stubble.
BONUS POINTS: Who are you and why aren’t you part of the main cast?
9. Patrick’s unnamed cub co-worker:
WHO: A guy at Patrick’s table at the boat party.
WHAT’S ON HIS FACE: A nicely trimmed beard that your dad would be proud of.
BONUS POINTS: For laughing along and being a good, cute extra.
WHO: Agustín’s boyfriend, who’s an old person at heart and just wants to stay in all the time.
WHAT’S ON HIS FACE: Short stubble, like your neighbor’s perfectly trimmed lawn on a hot summer’s day.
BONUS POINTS: That insanely adorable smile!
6. This video game character:
WHO: A character Patrick designs in his company’s newest game.
WHAT’S ON HIS FACE: The facial hair of a man who’s been out to sea for too long.
MINUS POINTS: For not being real.
5. This sailor waiter:
WHO: A smiley gentleman working at Patrick’s company party.
WHAT’S ON HIS FACE: A satisfying amount of stubble.
MINUS POINTS: For not dropping his tray of drinks and sweeping Patrick off of his feet so that he can be part of the story and join the main cast.
WHO: Patrick’s new coworker.
WHAT’S ON HIS FACE: A five o’clock shadow worth lusting over.
BONUS POINTS: His British accent, obviously.
I mean, are you kidding me with this cuteness?
WHO: Patrick’s latest love interest, whom he meets on the Muni.
WHAT’S ON HIS FACE: I DON’T EVEN KNOW.
BONUS POINTS: For being really forward with Patrick, while also being insanely kind and perfect.
It’s so patchy, while still being totally put together. I have no idea how he does it. He is a god amongst men.
Looking airs this week on Saturday, Feb. 1, at 10:30 p.m. on HBO, before returning to its regular time slot on Sunday, Feb. 9, at 10:30 p.m.
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