A Note From The Guy Taylor Swift Didn't Write A Song About

Taylor Swift just said she doesn't write songs about EVERY guy she dates. So how does that one guy feel?

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I mean, should I feel hurt? I feel a little hurt. Taylor writes a ballad for every guy that makes it under her cat sweater, but not me? I thought we had something. Maybe not a single, but at least something with a little radio play in it.

I’m no Jake Gyllenhaal, or John Mayer, or Harry Styles, or Joe Jonas, or Kennedy fetus, but are you telling me I didn’t cause one teardrop on your guitar?

When you walked away in your tweed hot pants, I told myself I’d be okay. I’d miss what we had, but I’d hear our love immortalized in pop twang in no time. Then nothing. Not one pointed gibe over a power chord.

Do you need me to write it for you, Taylor? I’ve been trying, but I can’t find a rhyme for “fedora.” I still have your fedora, Taylor. Fedora. Fedora. Our love is an unlit menorah…

Think about it, Taylor. I think we could make beautiful music together.