Offer These Things & Your Friends Might Help You Pack

Your move-out deadline is in place and empty boxes are lined up like little soldiers against your living room wall. Your only problem? Your friends are avoiding you like the plague. Here are some ways to get their face in your place for some packing.

Use Food.

Tumblr

The power of food compels them.

Flat-out lie.

cocaiinepapi / Via cocaiinepapi.tumblr.com

"Oh that? That's been canceled. But while you're here..."--You. Dressed in comfy sneakers and surrounded by boxes when your friends show up.

Sure they'll be mad, but...eh.

Sex.

thesexysweaters / Via thesexysweaters.tumblr.com

"Hey there sir, wanna help me with this box?"--You. In a slinky over-sized sweatshirt with no pants on.

If he's headed to your place either way, a roll on the bubble wrap could take your mind off all that packing.

Disclaimer: This can lead down a slippery path. Like. 'Hey. Why don't I just offer sex for money and just use that money for pro movers?' Because prostitution, that's why.

Offer eternal youth.

Via Tumblr

Hey. When all else fails, just shake those bones baby. Just don't tell them that in the fine print of the exchange they made for their soul they also have to drive you to the airport every year for the rest of their life. (Some may choose death.)

The f**king universe.

Via the-psychonauts-life.tumblr.com

You have to be prepared to sweeten the pot. Just know that they still may not show up on Saturday morning.