Parents

19 Secrets Of A No-Guilt Mom

Why waste time feeling guilty when you are doing your best?

1. You feel zero pressure to execute your Pinterest craft board.

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2. You will do anything to avoid contracting a stomach bug from your kids.

You will, however, set up a puke bucket in their room.

3. Tablet time = quality time. The silence is euphoric.

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Throw an educational app in there and wash all the guilt away.

4. You do not feel bad for never letting your children sleep in your bed.

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You kind of wish your spouse had their own bed too.

5. You’re aware that it takes a village and know when to ask for or hire help.

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Ain’t nothing wrong with a “manny.” Pool boys are so yesterday.

6. You are not about to spend $500-$2000 on a stroller.

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You can get a perfectly fine stroller for much less and use the rest to get yourself something pretty.

7. Take-out restaurants in your area know your order by heart.

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1/2 Cheese, 1/2 Pepperoni, cut in halves.

8. Your crying child does not break your heart into a million pieces.

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Why? Because 9 times out of 10, they are crying because they can’t find a unicorn or their sister ate their imaginary cake.

9. You skip pages in bedtime stories.

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So much that your children believe that the furry guy has always loved Green Eggs and Ham.

10. You take store bought baked goods to the bake sale.

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11. You are the first to volunteer to bring napkins and plates to school potlucks.

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Guess who didn’t have to make a Paleo diet casserole dish?

12. You are not the mom who is going to offer travelers gift packets on a flight.

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But you will suggest disgruntled travelers try flying private.

13. You don’t think twice about telling your kids that their favorite establishment has closed down.

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Just so that you could avoid being in a room filled with the rancid smell of bare Croc wearing feet.

14. You join a gym only to hang out at the juice bar and drop off your children at the kids club.

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15. Instead of cleaning up pancake mix off the floor, your ideal Mother’s day would include Netlix and Pjs.

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16. You don’t feel bad when your child doesn’t win the perfect attendance award.

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Because you know that you both had fun cutting school to watch a movie.

17. Your kids wear Halloween costumes snatched off the racks at Target.

Stress over hunting for vintage sewing patterns off Etsy? Never.

18. The most stress you’ve experienced on birthdays is getting the bakery to spell the name correctly on the sheet cake.

19. You know they’re only little for so long, so instead of overthinking every parenting decision, you just try to enjoy the ride.

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