2. You’ve grown tired of explaining to people how it’s NOT FAKE. (It’s predetermined.)
And even more tired of their ass-backwards explanation of how things ‘really work.’ “You see, that table is made of reconstructed styrofoam, and they play the sound of wood breaking over the PA system at just the right time. Also, that concrete floor is actually just a trampoline made to look like concrete. And he’s wearing a body brace. And I’m an idiot.”
7. You had early geography lessons via wrestler bios.
8. You’ve read one or two or six of these.
16. Every time you have something important to say, you’d feel more comfortable holding a microphone.
17. You have one or two of these that are still pretty special.
18. You’ve seen more TV weddings than most soap opera fans.
‘Scuse me while I get my hankie.
21. You’re inadvertently trained the secret code language of the business.
In other words, you know that the reason the heel potato’d the face during the finish last night was because the face was green and sandbagging, no-selling like a jabroni; now he knows that if he tries to get out of doing the job and dropping the strap, he’ll get busted open the hard way.
22. You’re also fluent in Steiner-ese.
27. You remember where you were when you heard about Owen, and Eddie, and countless others.
It’s still real to you, dammit.
- It's the third day of the Democratic National Convention. Here's where things stand 🇺🇸