As magical as weddings are, they tend to invite A LOT of drama.
Well, I recently stumbled across this post in the "Am I the Asshole" subreddit where a man decided not to invite his niece to his upcoming wedding, and some family members are not happy. Here's the full story:
BTW, if you've never heard of it, r/AmItheAsshole is a place where people can ask folks on the internet to weigh in on if they're being an asshole or not in certain situations.
"I (27m) am getting married in the fall to my fiancée (25f). We've decided that friends and family can bring their kids, since for the most part, the kids are well-behaved. They will be with a sitter for the night, so the parents can enjoy the festivities. The only exception is my cousin Linda’s daughter, Cerrie (12)."
"Linda's entitled and selfish, and she's made her daughter entitled and selfish. Two years ago, my other cousin (Linda's sister, Lily) got married. Cerrie ruined the wedding by throwing a tantrum and destroying the cake because she was jealous that Lily's daughter was the flower girl."
"Linda recently called me up to 'talk' and brought up child-free weddings and how terrible they are. Her invitation said nothing about a child-free wedding — it had her name and her husband's name on it, and no plus-one or anything to indicate Cerrie could come. I told her I wasn't having a child-free wedding — Cerrie just wasn't invited because of what happened at Lily's wedding. I don't want a repeat of Cerrie seeing she's not the flower girl again and throwing another fit."
"Linda's since gotten all her friends and the few people in the family who take her side to bombard me, my fiancée, and family with texts about how selfish we are for purposefully excluding one child while everyone else can bring their kids," he concluded.
As you might imagine, there were tons of responses for this one!
In case you're not familiar, people usually respond with one of four options: YTA (you're the A-hole), NTA (not the A-hole), ESH (everyone sucks here), or NAH (no A-hole here).
Most people said this guy is not the A-hole, and they even encouraged him to disinvite Linda:
"NTA, but I would reply, 'You're so right, it was really mean to exclude a child from the wedding her parents are invited to. Therefore, I rescind the invite to you and your husband.'"
"NTA. And if I were you, I'd uninvite the parents, too. She sounds like the type to ruin your wedding out of spite, because you offended her 'little angel.' And make sure the families know why. That she got her friends (strangers to you) to harass you over this."
"NTA. Your wedding should be about you. People who try to make it about them should be uninvited."
A lot of folks thought Cerrie's age was the important factor here:
"NTA. I think age is relevant because a 3-year-old throwing a jealous tantrum about flower girls can be removed from the room and is age-appropriate. But a 10-year-old? Just no. If the parents diffused the situation at the first wedding, I’d be more sympathetic, but it sounds like that didn’t happen."
"I'd feel differently if the girl had been 4 when this happened, and the cousin's argument was that she's grown up and learned her lesson. But since she was old enough to know better then, and this is how the cousin is reacting, I seriously doubt the girl's been taught to behave any better in the two years since. Especially since in a comment, OP said there was never even an apology!"
But a few thought that OP was the A-hole in this situation:
"Soft YTA. There's a pretty big maturity gap between 10 and 12. I agree this was wildly inappropriate behavior for any child, but I think a recurrence is unlikely. A common way to deal with this is often to assign someone to keep an eye on X person, and gently escort them from the event if things aren't going well."
"YTA. You should not have invited the family at all, disinviting one member is rude."
Personally, I don't think this guy is an A-hole at all! His niece ruined a previous family wedding — I can totally understand why he wouldn't want to risk his special day with his fiancée. But now, I'm curious: What do you think about all this? Is this man the A-hole? Does everyone suck? LMK your opinion in the comments below!
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.