Recently, Reddit user u/Shinfekta posed the question, "What red flag is an instant break-up reason for you?" And there were so many great answers! Here are some of the top-voted responses:
1. "Not being a priority. Not making time. The busiest people on earth make time for what they like and love. If they’re not making time, don’t waste yours."
"I’m not saying you even have to be number one or that things don’t get hectic. But if you realize you’re consistently an afterthought, do yourself a favor and take the thought out of their mind."
2. "Someone who casually says they've cheated. There's no way around that for me."
"Or worse, when they treat cheating as somehow noble."
"And they say it was 'healing' or 'self-discovery.'"
3. "If I'm hearing about a problem in our relationship from someone else rather than the partner. It shows huge trust issues."
"I've seen three divorces in my life, and they all were the result of the woman venting to her mother and her friends about issues she should have discussed with her husband."
"Hey, my ex did that shit, and you can totally tell by how quiet and awkward their friends become around you. Also, there’s always that one friend who suddenly has a fucking attitude when you talk to them. Trust your gut when experiencing things like this."
4. "Might be silly and unreasonable, but lying about something small with the 'I was afraid you would XYZ excuse.' If they’re willing to lie about something small, then they will absolutely lie about something big."
5. "Physical violence. I am simply not dealing with that shit. Put hands on me, throw shit, hell, even destroy my property on purpose? Pack your fucking bags. I am too old to tolerate that level of disrespect."
6. "How they treat animals, children, elderly, people with disabilities, and service workers."
7. "Being mean as their 'thing' or 'just a joke.'"
"'I'm just sassy!' No, you're a bitch."
8. "Mistrust. If I have to PROVE to them that I am trustworthy when I've never given them a reason not to trust me, that's a no-go. It always start as innocent check-ins at random times, then it's 'let me check your phone,' 'give me the password to your messenger,' and escalating their need for control."
"It comes from them being insecure, not you being untrustworthy. Even if you routinely prove your trustworthiness, it is not going to fix their insecurities, and so they'll just continue needing more and more."
"Agreed. I can't stand people creeping over my personal space to satisfy their insecurities. If you can't trust me to be loyal to you, then don't be in a relationship with me. I'm too tired for this teenage angst bullshit. I don't intend to spend my life coddling and comforting my partner at the expense of my sanity."
9. "Never admitting a mistake."
"A MF who can’t say sorry for their own actions is the worst."
10. "Always feeling the need to one-up you rather than listening. 'Yeah, I know you're suffering, but so am I. Feel sad for me, too.'"
11. "If someone follows Andrew Tate. Or if he says that he's open-minded and will ALLOW me to work. Like, seriously dude?"
"The minute I hear them talking about 'alpha male' influencers, I'm bolting in the other direction."
12. "Too attached to an ex, or obsessed with keeping exes around as friends."
13. "Not treating me as I treat her."
"This is the one I resonate with most. It really sucks when you put all your energy into someone's wellbeing and receive indifference or the bare minimum."
14. "Requires me to be vegan. You do you, but I love steak and eggs."
15. And finally, "If they see a dog stretch, and they don't say, 'BIG STREEETCH.'"
Any red flags that are instant dealbreakers for you? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.