1. Being put down by old people for something that makes no damn sense:
boomers: millennials are *immoral* and only think about themselves millennials: *sweating* would fleeing into the woods lower my environmental impact? am I supporting CEOs who are jerks to women? will I go to the Bad Place for drinking almond milk
2. Needing to know your rising sign so you can make the horoscope app as accurate as possible:
millennial culture is texting your mom “what TIME was i born?”
3. Fantasizing about winning food on a gameshow:
You know you're a starving millennial when you are watching Supermarket Sweep in 2020 and wondering if they get to keep the groceries. I could really use 30 honey hams right now.
4. Feeling like a winner for getting somewhere without relying on your phone:
U know you're a millennial when u feel proud u drove somewhere without GPS.
5. Sorting by price when online shopping because millennial wages are no joke:
You know you’re a millennial when the first thing you do on a website is sort price > low to high
6. Remembering Disney lines word for word and basically nothing else:
Millennials can only remember two addresses at any one time: -Their own address -P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney
7. Getting sick and tired of old people blaming your financial woes on avocado toast:
Cutting back my avocado toast habit to remedy my millennial ways. By my calculations I need to eat it 11 times less a day to afford a house.
8. Worrying that someone will unearth those middle school AIM messages and MySpace posts:
Am I the only one who has anxiety about someone publishing a dumb email or post I don't remember writing, or is this something that only happens to millennials who were on AIM at 13 and blogged teen romance poetry on MySpace?
9. Imagining outlandish plans to pay off your student loans because what else can you do:
You know you’re a millennial when the most feasible plan you can come up with to pay off your student loan debt is going on Jeopardy.
10. Wondering why the world insists you're still a kid when you're just tryna get through the day with your sore back:
PSA: Millennials aren't kids. Older ones are currently 39. They likely don't even know what music actual kids listen to these days, and they want them off their lawn.
11. Buying Harry Potter and Star Wars stuff because it's the only the bright light in this dark world:
millennial culture is spending what little money you have on nerd shit that makes you happy as the world falls apart around you
12. Considering marriage as the most accessible path to health insurance:
You know you're a millennial when your friends are trying to marry you off so that you can have health insurance
13. Planning how you'll spoil your squad when you make it big one day:
Millennial culture is daydreaming how much you'd help your friends if you were ever to get rich.
14. Remembering when "Tik Tok" was a song and not a social network:
Millennial culture is TikTok being a Kesha song instead of an app