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    21 Truths About Trying To Get Pregnant

    Two words: egg whites.

    1. After years of trying to *not* get pregnant, this is going to take a little bit of getting used to.


    You feel totally betrayed that it can actually be kind of complicated to make it happen on purpose.

    2. A friend will tell you they're pregnant and you'll burst into tears.

    Warner Bros

    You'll do your best to convince them that they're happy tears.

    3. You don't even have to think about it when asked for the date of your last period.

    A&M Records

    You're all: "9 days, 4 hours, and 37 seconds ago."

    4. If you didn't know what your cervix felt like before, you will now!

    Warner Bros

    You'll also come to realize that every bit of vaginal discharge is speaking to you.

    5. You will become unreasonably excited by the ability to stretch your cervical mucus between your thumb and forefinger.

    PBS / Gross Science / Via

    Yes, I know that's revolting if you're not TTC. And if you don't know what TTC stands for, then why are you reading this post?

    6. In fact, your cervical mucus will become a constant topic of conversation between you, your spouse, and strangers on the internet.


    7. During peak fertility, you'll have sex in a closet.

    Jive Records

    What? It's the only door that locks!

    8. You'll probably also have sex in a friend's bathroom.


    You'll take whatever "alone time" you can get.

    9. You'll get super pissed at your partner if they spill the baby batter without you.


    I'm talking about jerkin' it. Gotta save that shit up.

    10. You will text your best friend to celebrate the fact that your temperature spiked.

    Morgan Shanahan

    11. You might rather scrub the toilet than do the deed, but if you're ovulating you take one for the team.

    Ninamalyna / Getty Images

    "Just...stick it in, OK?"

    12. You will prop your ass up on a pillow after sex even though you know it doesn't help even a little.


    Gravity, don't fail me now.

    13. You may be spun into a rage if a business trip is scheduled during your fertility window.

    John Lund / Getty Images

    "No, I can't be in New York that day, I'm ovulating."

    14. Once that two-week wait begins, the suspense is almost too much to bear.


    "Honey! My Apple Watch says my heart rate is up! What do you think that means?!"

    (JK no one has an Apple Watch.)

    15. EVERYTHING will make you think you're pregnant.

    Katarzyna Bialasiewicz / Thinkstock

    Boobs sore? PREGNANT.

    Out of breath? PREGNANT.

    Heartburn that's clearly from eating a Sriracha and onion sandwich? PREGNANT.

    16. If you didn't hate getting your period before, you're sure AF gonna hate it now!


    Wha?! Is that blood?! Thanks a fucking lot, Aunt Flo!

    17. Having to buy a box of tampons is likely to make you cry.


    We've all superstitiously refused to buy feminine products at one point or another.

    18. You will start taking pictures of things you've peed on.

    Morgan Shanahan

    19. Actually, peeing on things is basically your new pastime.


    Want to know if you're ovulating? POAS. Period late? POAS. Period not yet late but you can't take the suspense? POAS, dammit.

    20. When that ovulation pee stick comes up positive, you'll spend all day plotting ways to up your chances of conception.


    No, I did NOT smell a newborn for good luck.

    21. You can't help but think, every time you do the deed, We could be making a baby.


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