1.
i think everyone should see this 💀
2.
Me getting ready to go out with friends because I promised them I'd go but I really don't feel like it https://t.co/rVs0UfeTFm
3.
When my friends start making more plans but I’ve already said I wanted to go home
4.
friend: what’s your phone passcode? me: my birthday friend:
5.
“If ur friends do something stupid r u gonna do it too?” Me:
6.
Hairdresser: Is it ok for me to post you? Client: yes
7.
Rideshare driver: Do I turn left here? Me: Is that what the GPS says?
8.
me: bitch im not even fuckin with him also me:
9.
Dear children of today: Like it or not, you’re really 90s kids.
10.
if you crash your car you press that and it will undo the accident https://t.co/FvvPzXD8dl
11.
TAKE ALL MY MONEY!!
12.
Me supporting my girl while she negotiates feet pic prices on the phone with our sugar daddy
13.
i tried to follow the baddest bitch on twitter but it said edit profile
14.
when men come into your life
15.
me randomly thinking about an old spongebob episode:
16.
Nobody: Anybody with allergies :
17.
*Me watching water waiting for that moment if starts boiling* The water:
18.
And there’s still a gender pay gap.
19.
Me: “I’m never drinking again!” Me to the liquor the next weekend:
20.
Legit thought this was Mike Wazowski for a split second https://t.co/1Npj6UMvcN
21.
when u swallow ur pride and double text but still get left on read
22.
Rappers: "I come from nothing there was nights I didnt eat" The rappers mom:
23.
me: lemme take a quick 10 minute shower also me 35 minutes later thinking about life:
24.
him: *im outside*
25.
“Up high” *slaps hand “Down low” *misses “Too slow” Me as a kid:
26.
me bitch https://t.co/1a3XsAQOEi
27.
me forcing myself to be a city girl when i really wanted to be boo’d up this summer
28.
me, stepping spider on into the shower the ceiling trying not to watching me do anything to anger the spider
29.
Me calculating how much everyone owes me for wasting my time:
30.
Every guy I know named Hunter looks more like a gatherer.
31.
me casually walking around fully on my bullshit as everyone who cares about me looks on in horror, shrieking