1.
“Bitch let me call you back, my baby fell in the trash can”😭 https://t.co/pvoUsfjwBP
2.
WHEN I TELL YOU IM SCREAMING 😭
3.
rich college students with no self-awareness
4.
Y’all wanna hear a funny story ? I was waxing a client and when I say she was scared she was SHOOK ! Lol I pulled the first strip and the lady wig fell completely off her head 😩😩 I could tell she was embarrassed so to lighten the mood I pulled my wig off and finished my job
5.
NOT ME THINKING GRETA THUNBERG AND GRETA GERWIG WERE THE SAME PERSON 😭 y’all would talk about climate change and lady bird and i would think “damn she doing a lot”
6.
Man this is hella creative on how to propose to someone.... son got in his bag .
7.
“I work well under pressure” me under pressure: https://t.co/JuHcjwIwpB
8.
I’m crying 😭
9.
adam driver just said his wife was in africa and i am AFRICAn american. makes u think
10.
#TwitterMomentsOfTheDecade is incomplete without this Grammy moment.
11.
pov: you’re a close friend venting to me about a situation where you were entirely in the wrong
12.
rent https://t.co/hbIulQjW0z
13.
I’ll never not post this when I hear it’s snowing in Portland
14.
my headspace on its way to receive information that could possibly hurt it
15.
now this is the content i signed up for
16.
I was blackout last night and posted a video to my story of me following an animal down the street yelling ”what are you? Ive never seen one like you?“ and then I woke up this morning, watched it and the animal was just a black trash bag blowing across the sidewalk I’m speechless
17.
Just Chinese fisherman couple eating
18.
Spotify: hey dumbass. hey asshole. Me: pls don’t Spotify: here’s your 2019 Rewind playlist you bitch Me: stop Spotify: and we pulled every fucken song from that one 6 week period after a breakup Me: *already listening to the playlist, crying* it’s perfect. i hate you.
19.
20.
Me whenever my teacher licked her finger and put a paper on my desk https://t.co/wVIxVkTjUL
21.
Me: this edible ain’t shit 30 mins later :
22.
“baby yoda is a bad bitch!” - me at brunch, having seen 0.00 episodes of the mandalorian
23.
Dakota Johnson 👸🏻 |\👐🏻 / \_ ━━━━━┓ ＼＼ ┓┓┓┓┓┃ ＼＼ ┓┓┓┓┓┃Ellen DeGeneres ┓┓┓┓┓┃ ヽ🤡ノ ┓┓┓┓┓┃ / ┓┓┓┓┓┃ ノ) ┓┓┓┓┓┃ ┓┓┓┓┓┃
24.
my sister was worried about bringing her girlfriend to thanksgiving because she hasn’t come out to our conservative, texan, retired preacher, grandfather. so i turned on gold rush on discovery channel and he didn’t even blink for like 4 hours
25.
Just DM’d my WCW "hpe you had a nice Thanksgiving" on purpose so if she doesnt reply I'm gonna DM her again correcting the typo
26.
Every time he gets his favorite food.
27.
Girls are shit with birthday gifts you’ll hint for a Rolex all year & she’ll turn up with a jar that’s filled with 22 things she loves about you lol
28.
him: are you done with ur little attitude? me:
29.
My family when I accidentally say “Can you pass me the butter babe?” to my “Best Friend” tonight at dinner:
30.
Nobody stronger than a toddler who has just seen this.
31.
Dave East was FADED 😵😭
32.
This will make you smile! 😊