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1. Have you ever had such an intense desire to lay in a pile of wieners?
2. You can finally let your weenie run free!
3. Wieners will fill you with love.
4. There's a full spectrum of wiener colors for every individual's preference.
5. You can always tell your friends you're playing with your wiener.
6. Can you raise any complaints about this wiener trying to snuggle into your pants?
7. You can finally brag to all your friends about having the fastest wiener in all the land.
8. How many wieners have you seen that are more handsome than this hunk?
9. Wieners are THE. BEST. CUDDLERS.
10. When is the last time a wiener penetrated your soul this deeply?
11. You can have the ultimate fist full of wieners.
12. There will always be people ready to pounce on the opportunity to pet your wiener.
13. The jokes never . . . ever . . . get old.
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