1. Tomatoes are little round devil fruits found in pretty much every meal, and they need to be stopped.
2. No one can agree on whether tomatoes are fruits or vegetables.
3. When a soup is literally just tomatoes, you puke a little bit in your mouth.
4. You cast a wary eye at the waiter when you've ordered a burger specifically without tomatoes because you know, you just know there's a slice in there.
5. Stick the kettle on for a lovely, hot cup of tomato mint tea, and sadness at your life choices.
6. Their sneaky subterfuge extends to fucking with your desserts because your avant-garde friend says it adds "moistness".
7. When a hotel chef ran out of orange juice in 1917, he apparently squeezed some tomatoes to serve to guests for breakfast drinks like that was a perfectly acceptable, and not at all dreadful, thing to do.
8. When you bite into a tasty sandwich and there's half a tomato subtly peeking out to ruin your lunch.
9. When there's guacamole and cheese, the beautiful tortilla chip does not need to debase itself with tomato salsa.
10. When there are so many other drinks to use as a mixer, tomato juice can be kept where it truly belongs – in the bin.
11. And when you're making your morning breakfast, these bitter slices do not need to grace your plate.
12. Seriously, these skewers would be perfect with a little less tomato and a little more EVERYTHING ELSE.
13. You can't even eat a mozzarella ball without tomatoes being all "Hey, what about me?"
14. Unfortunately, tomatoes are the unavoidable cornerstone of Italian cuisine.
15. The arduous task of dusting your salad of these juicy balls of grossness is the real starter.
16. You can even conveniently destroy every meal ever with the world's worst condiment.
17. If you're not keen on eating tomatoes but really want to get that goodness, you can actually smear some tomato serum ONTO YOUR FACE.
18. Tomatoes are even now tryna get some ~sweet shower time~ with you.
INTRODUCING Miss Emily's Tomato Soap! http://t.co/UB6hjtCw4u #ShopSmall #tomato #localfarms
Someone actually thought, "You know what soap is missing? Tomato, and plenty of it!"
19. And if you want your hair to smell extra fruity, pour some tomato shampoo on your locks.
20. If you're ever given a tomato, throw it at a wall immediately.
21. Or just squash the fuck out of it.
