I was searching for an apartment in Astoria and happen to come across the best roommate ad EVER. I want to meet this guy..seriously :) Here's the post in its entirety: There's nothing I hate more than a roommate that uses unnatural products and sprays shit into the air The only thing I want my lungs breathing is AIR. Previous roommates read this but didnt understand. Lets be 100% crystal clear... No nail polish, no windex, no bleach, no chlorox, no axe body wash, no dial body wash, no air fresheners, no aerosol anything, no spray deodorant, no smoking, no nail polish remover, no spray paint, no incense, no perfume, no burning food, no oven use (its broken and makes the whole house smell like burnt rubber) no hairspray, no nail polish remover, no cigars, no paint, no dryer sheets, no fabric softener, no shoe shine shit, no wood cleaner chemicals, no paint remover , no volatile shit, no candles, no unnatural cleaning products, no unnatural anything please, no artificial shit, no man made cancer crap Yea I sound like a crazy mofo right now, but I'm just trying to keep my lung capacity at its maximum A major cause of aging and wear and tear on the body is from inhaling this shit and other carcinogens/toxins/poisons I can't stop idiots on the street from giving me cancer and reducing my lung capacity, but at least I can find roommates that are just as crazy about lung health as I am. Mother Nature. That's my style. I clean with baking soda and vinegar. I eat organic food. I love trees. I hate cars. I hate pollution. I hate deforestation. I hate wasting electricity. I hate over consumption. Organic wine is my best friend. You're probably in shock now, but I trust her. She's been cleaning humans arteries naturally and making people live longer and healthier lives for thousands of years. She helps me relax and she kills my social phobia. And those ancient gay Romans loved her too :) It would be great to have a roommate that is also gay, loves liquor, and videogames, but those are all just bonus points By now it should be 100% crystal clear what the most important thing is... No shit in the air no shit in the air in shit in the air. Got it? Lol Sorry for sounding like a broken record. I hope y'all understand now, but previous roommates NEVER HAVE. Utilities included. (Heat, Internet, gas, electric)

moodya • 4 years ago