13 Sounds To Make When Opening Gifts This Holiday Season

You have a lot of options. Did you know "Eggnog Fart" was one of them?

1. Child-like Scream

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If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Tear open your gifts with child-like abandon, then shriek like you just saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus and you probably have to tell Dad this time.

2. Decoy Yelp

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You hate it, and they can never know. Opening a beautifully wrapped gift to find a noble effort gone horribly wrong, or the thing you wanted but the version with contrast stitching, or worse—anything you can't eat—is never easy. Shrieking at the top of your lungs in a strangled yet pleased manner will help you release tension and trick your well-meaning relative or friend for the amount of time required to place the offering in your "fire" pile.

3. Reverential "Ohhhh"

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This gift is the best thing you've ever seen. You're total awe. You're Indiana Jones at the Holy Grail. You're Drake looking at Nicki's big bouncing butt. You're any reasonable human at a Chipotle. Just inhale, and breathe your gratitude out loudly. Ohhhhhhhh.

4. Confused Speech

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"It's just... it’s? Wow, is it? It's like, one of those, oh, okay, it's... hmmm. Hmmm? Well. I just love it, whatever it does."

5. Silent Tears

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They did it. No, they KILLED IT. You're overwhelmed. Simply weep into your boozy coffee and carry on.

6. Eggnog Fart

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This response is less about the gifts, more about dat nog, but the message is clear: you're loving the holiday season.

7. Drawn-out Name Yell

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When you're given a really great gift, sometimes you just need to shout praise at the giver in the form of their whole name, screamed at top volume. [Tip: You can yell any name you want. Although obviously the real name of the gift giver works best, I sometimes like to thunder a grateful "DEREEEEKKKKKKK!" into the crisp December air, just cuz.]

8. Emotional Stutter

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"I... Dad... You... It's... We... Family... The Holidays... Snow... Together... Love... Emotions... This Time... Treasures... Joy... Pa-rum-pa-pum-pum... Laughing... Excitement... Truth..." Continue like this until someone quiets you by putting a cookie in your mouth.

9. Xena Yell

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It's an iPad! AYIIYIIIIIIYIIIIIIII!!!!

10. Classic Squeal

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Go hard or go back to your tiny bed in your childhood home. If the gift in front of you isn't really lighting your fire but you can tell Grandma really tried, conjure up images of incredible presents past and just let it out. Squeal like you're 10 and just got a bright orange Baby G. Squeal like a tween who just got an N64. Squeal like me, this Christmas, when Benedict Cumberbatch offers me his hand in marriage.

11. "It's A PUPPYYYYY!!!!"

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Probably only shout this if you've been given a puppy. Then calm yourself down, reapply your fresh morning makeup, and film the whole thing again for the Internet, as is your duty.

12. Clearly Fake Thank You

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“Wowwwww I just love it so much. Honestly, I maybe love it TOO much. It’s so great. Did it come with a receipt? I just can’t believe you saw this and thought of me, because it’s so perfect! I’m going to use this every day! Ohmyygoodddd I’m so lucky!!! What’s the return policy like at this store?”

13. Low, Guttural Moan

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This is the Christmas your family finds out you're just bugs in a skin suit. Happy holidays!!