1. The Mastication Diet: Chew your food 100 times per minute to absorb all the goodness. Then spit out the liquid remains, because ain't nobody got time for digestion.
2. The Wood Diet: Is that wood in your mouth, or are you just happy to see me?
3. The Cotton Diet: In which you eat cotton. And nothing else. Ever.
4. The Sleep Diet: Hibernate those pounds away! This diet involves being asleep 99.9% of the time.
5. The "Living Food" Diet: Eat a tapeworm, alive, and expel it from your body once it's a full-grown adult.
6. Photosynthesis: The lightest diet imaginable.
7. The Inside-Outside Diet: Eat fish alive by pushing your stomach out of your mouth to swallow your meal whole, then re-swallow your stomach and freak everyone the hell out.
8. The Surprise Diet: Eat mostly meat. Surprise everyone by liking spinach.
9. The Blue Food Diet: Everything looks blue!
10. The Whatever Diet: Eat whatever the hell you can fit into your mouth, even if you have to distend your jaw!
Luv ur body, gurl.
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