Recently, over on the Ask Reddit subreddit, u/enkiv2 posed the question, "Women of Reddit, what's something specific that you wish men would stop doing?" The comments were full of women — speaking from experience — calling out the various aggravating and disgusting ways that some men behave. Here are some of the best responses:
1. "If a woman tells you she's a lesbian when you're flirting, it means one of two things: 1: She is a lesbian. 2: She is pretending to be a lesbian so you'll stop flirting with her. Either way, you should stop flirting."
"And never tell her you'll 'make her straight.' That's threatening."
4. "Being mean to girls they find unattractive."
"My ex-friend used to do this, just outright pretend that unattractive-to-him women didn't exist at social gatherings and whatnot. Then, he wondered why despite being 'nice' to the women he did find attractive, they didn't want to talk to him."
5. "Dismissing our safety concerns and trying to gaslight us out of taking basic precautions."
8. "Don’t put others down to raise me up. I had an ex who actually did this, saying how I was 'smarter than most girls' or 'really good at this for a chick.' He put down a waitress once by saying, 'You would never dress like that for attention.' You can compliment me without putting others down! I don’t say, 'You’re nice for a boy,' so don’t say I’m something or other 'for a girl!'"
9. "'No' is a complete sentence. Unfortunately, a lot of men (yes, I know, not all) won't take just a 'no' for an answer and demand we offer them a reason."
"It’s wild to me how movies and TV shows treat a woman saying 'no' like it means, 'You haven’t put enough effort in. Keep trying.'"
10. "If a woman says she doesn’t want children, don’t respond by saying she doesn’t know better. I don't know where you guys get off telling a grown woman that she doesn’t know what she wants, but it needs to stop. If she doesn't want children, respect her decision."
11. "Please. God. Some men don't wash their asses when they shower because it feels 'gay.' Stop worrying so much about being a macho manly man. Being secure in your manhood is way hotter. Go wash your ass."
12. "Following women when they’re walking. I’ve been followed by cars, followed by men yelling at me, and had dead-silent men follow me to work and then stand outside. It isn’t all men, sure. But most women have been followed. I don’t know why they do it. To feel powerful, I guess? To instill fear that they know where I work or what bus I take?"
"This is the most annoying and fear-inducing action that I have ever experienced. I have been out walking through my neighborhood, walking around the block on my lunch break, etc., and on multiple occasions, men have passed me in their cars and turned the vehicle around to ask me out on the side of the road. One guy even got out of his car, and I had to sprint away because I was so terrified. One guy walked up to me while I was reading on the stairs outside my office building and said he’d been watching me for a while and wanted to go get coffee with me."
14. "Please stop sending dick pics to random women online. It's just straight-up creepy and gross. If a woman wants to see your dick, she'll ask for a picture."
16. "Calling yourself an 'alpha' or 'sigma' male. You aren’t necessarily hurting anyone by doing it, but no one takes you seriously when you talk like that."
17. "Obviously, this only applies to specific people, but I wish men would stop trying to revert the world to both 1800s Western society and the 1950s so they can have subservient, underage, brain-empty wives. [It's] manosphere and sexist nonsense. I'm tired of it. It's draining."
18. "Unsolicited advice. Don't tell me I'd look nicer if I let my hair down; it's up for a reason. Just don't approach me with any sort of comment about my appearance. I'm perfectly happy with myself."
20. "Commenting on the fact that I'm a woman while I'm working. I don't really care if you haven't 'met a woman cabinet refinisher' before, just let me do my job and stay out of my way."
21. And finally, "Engaging in toxic masculinity. Fellas, you're beautiful people worthy of support, kindness, and love. It's healthy to have emotions. ALL emotions. To feel scared, sad, insecure, etc. Support one another. This goes for all genders. Life is hard. Let's be excellent to one another."
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.