13 Times "What Not To Wear" Showed Us Some Truly Heinous Outfits

    If you're not wearing pointy heels and a wrap dress to drop the kids off at school, you're doing it wrong.

    Molly Capobianco
    by Molly Capobianco

    BuzzFeed Staff

    Remember What Not to Wear? You know, the show where an unwitting participant was nominated by a friend or family member, secretly filmed, had every facet of their style (and sometimes their lives) torn apart by hosts Stacy and Clinton, and then was forced to throw out every piece of clothing they owned.

    TLC

    Still not ringing any bells? It also unforgettably showed Stacy sniffing a high heel in the opening credits.

    TLC

    Well, this show was everything to me and convinced me that I, a child, needed to be wearing pencil skirts and structured blazers. But that was almost 20 years ago, so do the outfits that Stacy and Clinton suggested to the participants still hold up?

    Not exactly. Here are 13 outfits from What Not to Wear that, to me, are particularly heinous:

    1. This big-ass blue bubble look:

    An outfit featuring a top with a large orb that looks like a giant bubble
    TLC

    This verrry 2003 look was suggested to Gina, a hairdresser who Stacy and Clinton thought wore clothes that were "too tight, too revealing, and just too young." To me, it screams Y2K wine mom. And also, they knew she was a hairdresser, right? How's she gonna use scissors with those big wing sleeves?

    If you disagree with me, just look at how Gina was dressing beforehand:

    TLC

    Like, she was doing this flower-power, '00s-does-'70s thing and looked like she was having an incredible time. Maybe they saw this in the secret footage and thought, "Oh, she likes blowing bubbles, let's put that on a shirt."

    2. This '00s screensaver look:

    An outfit featuring heavily starched jeans and a shirt with random lines in different directions
    TLC

    It's giving Microsoft Windows screensaver on the top and "do you iron your jeans?" on the bottom.

    3. This "parts of a tree" shift dress:

    An outfit featuring a top that has sleeves covered in small flowers and leaves
    TLC

    Lexa loved Lolita fashion, so she wore a lot of babydoll dresses. I don't know how babydoll dresses translated to, in Stacy and Clinton's minds, a shift dress with a knotted wood pattern and leaf-print bell sleeves, but here we are.

    4. This mold dress:

    An outfit featuring a dress with green sequins
    TLC

    Joy seemed cool as hell, and Stacy and Clinton weren't having it. When they showed her this little puke-green number, they pointed out that they added a little skull medallion to the outfit to basically say, "Hey, you can still express yourself, but only with this one-inch piece of metal that absolutely no one else can see."

    Like, based on outfit alone, which version of Joy would you rather hang out with?

    5. This loOoOong cardigan:

    This outfit features a cardigan that goes beyond the waist, with a large belt on top of the cardigan
    TLC

    That is quite the dropped waist they have going on there. But I do remember when they sold tops this long, and you had to hold it up to your body to see if it was actually a shirt or a dress. And then, sometimes, it'd actually be a tunic, and you could just wear it with capri leggings, ballet flats, and some chonky jewelry.

    6. This "let's take away your entire personality" jeans and pocket square combo:

    A man wearing an outfit that has baggy jeans, a button-up shirt, blazer, and a pocket square that doesn't match any other part of the outfit
    TLC

    I've never understood these early '00s jeans that men used to wear. They're like flared, but not a full bellbottom, and they just look so incredibly STIFF. So, yeah, this outfit is a no from me.

    ESPECIALLY since Ed had probably the coolest style I've ever seen.

    Look at him pre-What Not to Wear:

    This outfit includes bright orange pants and a striped shirt that shimmers
    TLC

    Ed said that he used fashion as his creative outlet. So when Stacy and Clinton suggested mixing patterns (all neutral-colored and barely visible, of course) as a way to express his creativity, I actually felt ill.

    I hope Ed went back to this style. If TikTok was around in 2005, I have no doubt he would have been an iconic fashion influencer.

    7. This bloody scab top:

    This outfit includes a top with a design and color that makes it look like it's bleeding
    TLC

    This top straight up looks like a wound.

    Like, oozing sores on loose skin.

    TLC

    0/10

    8. This "I'll take one of everything at New York & Company" outfit:

    The outfit includes a top with a chevron pattern with several clashing colors
    TLC

    Stacy and Clinton presented this to Tiffanny — and yeah, we're talking "I Think We're Alone Now" Tiffany — as something she should be wearing. And all I can say is...chevron? 

    9. THESE:

    Shoes with a small elevated heel and long front that extends to a point, making the front look like a triangle
    TLC

    Everyone in the early aughts was trying to win the world's longest shoe contest and these kitten heels, I'm assuming, won the title.

    This is the outfit they belonged to:

    The rest of the outfit includes a jacket over a Motley Crue band T-shirt
    TLC

    A bejeweled Mötley Crüe shirt? Odd choice coming from two people who, earlier in the episode, roasted this participant's Season 1 Buffy the Vampire Slayer T-shirt (which I very much wish I owned).

    10. This "I can't be bothered to keep rolling up my sleeves, so I'll force them up with a button" top:

    This outfit includes a button-up shirt that has the sleeves pulled up above the elbow and has buttons on the forearm of the sleeves to hold them in place
    TLC

    A collared shirt covered in rhinestone-looking snap buttons to replace comfortable sportswear makes absolutely no sense to me. Stacy commented that the shirt would allow for more range of motion, but that seems highly doubtful. Why couldn't this participant just keep wearing her hoodie?

    11. This cheetah-print statement stole:

    The leopard print stole is thrown over the shoulder of the rest of the outfit, which doesn't match the aesthetic at all
    TLC

    A leather skirt? Sure. A jewel-toned cami? Not my favorite, but fine. But a STOLE??? What year is this?

    Stacy and Clinton really thought to suggest this outfit to participant Niya, who was the epitome of the McBling aesthetic, as a "going out" outfit.

    I mean, look at Niya's beautiful heeled baby pink Timbs (which Stacy and Clinton threw out, of course), and then look at the mannequin's outfit. Smdh.

    12. This "looks like the outside of a Panera Bread" striped button-down:

    The button-up shirt includes vertical stripes in five different colors, making it look very busy
    TLC

    There's just something about this color combo that makes me sad.

    This guy just wanted to wear shirts with flames on them. I hope wherever he is, that's what he's doing.

    13. And finally, Clinton's mold spore button-up:

    Clinton is wearing a button-up shirt that features small circles that look cells seen under a microscope
    TLC

    What were you doing, Clinton?

    What do you think of these outfits? Would you wear any of them? Let me know in the comments below!