21 Absolutely Awful Life Lessons Disney Films Taught Us
Who would have thought that a bunch of cartoon teenagers would be terrible role models?
1. You should absolutely befriend strangers you meet in the woods. They won't be at all creepy.
Especially if they're hot guys, because hot guys never do wrong.
2. Definitely cut your own hair! It'll look amazing.
The less the blade is meant for hair, the better!
3. Ignoring your parents' advice only leads to happy endings.
Seriously, who needs 'em?
4. Don't be afraid to accept food from complete (and rather sinister) strangers.
Stranger Danger? That's just a myth.
5. Running away from your problems is always the best solution.
Just go build your own little kingdom; everything will work itself out.
6. If someone breaks into your room, don't be afraid! He'll make a fabulous adventure buddy.
Bonus points if he's a repeat offender...
... or tries to seduce you.
7. Working all day and partying all night is a normal and healthy lifestyle.
You can sleep when you're dead.
8. Don't let their fashion fool you- go ahead and trust that people with a penchant for fur are actually massive animal lovers!
Who would ever think to see a connection between a black and white aesthetic and dalmatian puppies?
9. If you want something someone else has, just get rid of them!
You know, just leave them somewhere to die. Or ship them to Timbuktu, whichever is easier.
10. It's not robbery if it's charitable.
Hint: it's still a crime.
11. Running away and going home with strangers are both great life choices.
JSYK: you have to pay for things in the real world. Strange, I know.
12. YOLO- er, hakuna matata.
"No worries" is a cop-out. Some things are worth worrying about. Like, y'know, survival.
13. Go ahead and jump off that waterfall. You'll be fine.
A fun and completely safe pastime.
14. Lying never ends badly.
You'll probably get your dream guy/girl and end up royalty or something like that.
At least Genie had the right idea...
RIP Robin :(
15. If a large, imposing man offers to take you on a trip, do it. He definitely doesn't have an ulterior motive.
He's definitely not a poacher...
... or a heartless, money-hungry fiend.
16. Consent doesn't matter if it's ~true love's kiss.~
Just go ahead and steal that kiss, it'll all be peachy keen once she wakes up.
17. All drains lead to the ocean.
The water'll get there eventually, but it might pass through some treatment plants first.
TL;DR: don't put live fish down the drain. Ever.
18. You should try absolutely everything even remotely consumable that comes your way. The results will only be in your favor.
Strange bottles labeled "Drink me?" Fair game. Curious cakes asking you to "Eat [them]?" Not suspicious at all. Mushroom that a smoking caterpillar told you to try? Probably just portobello.
19. Kidnapping is A-OK!
Hell, once the Stockholm Syndrome takes over, you might even have a new significant other!
20. You should do anything in your power to get the guy/girl. That is the only thing that matters.
No cost or risk is too great.
21. Though, of course, you'll never get the guy/girl if you aren't ridiculously good-looking.
Sorry.
However, there is one excellent and highly important life lesson to be learned from Disney...
(Still waiting on The Incredibles II, Disney).