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What Should You Actually Order At The Diner?

Pancakes, Gyros, AND Disco Fries?? Oh my!

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From all-day breakfast to a centerfold dedicated to hamburgers alone, it seems more feasible to settle on a life insurance plan sooner than selecting a meal.

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Never again shall your frustrated tears roll down the plastic pages of a ten-pound diner menu. Let this quiz guide the fates of your ~deluxe~ deep-fried destiny.

  1. 1.

    My newspaper and I will have a seat at the counter.
    Via ronmartin.net
    My newspaper and I will have a seat at the counter.
    Three: Me, myself, and my feelings.
    Via i.dailymail.co.uk
    Three: Me, myself, and my feelings.
    PARTYYYYYYYY
    Via static.guim.co.uk
    PARTYYYYYYYY
    We'll take any booth with the bounciest, BOINGIEST seats.
    Via dangerouspiesbalt.com
    We'll take any booth with the bounciest, BOINGIEST seats.
    A banquet table fit for a carnivorous feast.
    Via womenworld.org
    A banquet table fit for a carnivorous feast.
    Just a little table for me and my steady.
    Via fiftieswedding.com
    Just a little table for me and my steady.
  2. 2.

    An After-School Special Snack
    Via sammydvintage.com
    An After-School Special Snack
    What time even is it?
    What time even is it?
    I eat six small meals to provide constant energy throughout the day. Three meals are so mainstream.
    Via healthfulpursuit.com
    I eat six small meals to provide constant energy throughout the day. Three meals are so mainstream.
    A balanced breakfast of carbs, sugar, and more sugar.
    Via crazyrunninggirl.com
    A balanced breakfast of carbs, sugar, and more sugar.
    A protein-packed dinner to feed my meaty loins.
    Via simondeanphotography.com
    A protein-packed dinner to feed my meaty loins.
    *Sigh* Whatever. I don't know.
    *Sigh* Whatever. I don't know.
  3. 3.

    Anything saltier than my tears.
    Via wordpress.com
    Anything saltier than my tears.
    Sugar shalt not pass the lips of a true barbarian warrior.
    Via iqpill.com
    Sugar shalt not pass the lips of a true barbarian warrior.
    WOOP WOOP WOOP
    Via img.grouponcdn.com
    WOOP WOOP WOOP
    Salt all around that rimrimrimrimrim
    Via blog.chesterniteowl.com
    Salt all around that rimrimrimrimrim
    Something sugary to get these feet twisting and shouting.
    Via wordpress.com
    Something sugary to get these feet twisting and shouting.
    Neither. I avoid refined sugar and sodium.
    Via wordpress.com
    Neither. I avoid refined sugar and sodium.
  4. 4.

    Via wendymiddleditch.com
    I'll use my hands THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID
    Via i.imgflip.com
    I'll use my hands THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID
    And risk staining my cardigan? Utensils, please.
    Via polyvore.com
    And risk staining my cardigan? Utensils, please.
    Whichever requires the least effort.
    Via i.dailymail.co.uk
    Whichever requires the least effort.
    My hands are the quickest route to my mouth vessel.
    Via i.kinja-img.com
    My hands are the quickest route to my mouth vessel.
    I brought reusable chopsticks to reduce my carbon hand print on the environment.
    I brought reusable chopsticks to reduce my carbon hand print on the environment.
    What about a spork?
    Via bitrebels.com
    What about a spork?
  5. 5.

    Via rhino.com
    "Sherry" by Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons
    Via a3.mzstatic.com
    "Turn Down For What" by DJ Snake and Lil Jon
    Soundscapes of Bacon
    Via brookwoodcafe.com
    Soundscapes of Bacon
    Via derekbateman.co.uk
    "The Sound of Silence" by Simon & Garfunkel
    You probably never heard of it.
    Via wordpress.com
    You probably never heard of it.
    Via previously.us
    "99 Luftballons" by Nena
  6. 6.

    Crawling back into bed, probably.
    Via cutearoo.com
    Crawling back into bed, probably.
    Making pillow forts and playing tag and sharing feelings and
    Via d1amk1w0mr5k0.cloudfront.net
    Making pillow forts and playing tag and sharing feelings and
    *Snores* *Drools*
    Via flickr.com
    *Snores* *Drools*
    Back to work on my installation art.
    Via ragebot.com
    Back to work on my installation art.
    Chopping lumber with my bare hands.
    Via thumbs.dreamstime.com
    Chopping lumber with my bare hands.
    Getting in by curfew and setting my rollers before bed.
    Via flickr.com
    Getting in by curfew and setting my rollers before bed.

What Should You Actually Order At The Diner?

You got: New York Egg Cream

Share this chocolatey, fizzy, creamy diner treat with your Danny Zuko after a drive-in movie. One straw or two? That's up to you.

New York Egg Cream
Via readexpress.com
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You got: Disco Fries

Fries doused in cheese and brown gravy will take the edge off the hangover impending in your near future. Come back in the morning for eggs and bottomless coffee.

Disco Fries
Via nycfoodguy.com
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You got: Matzo Ball Soup

Sounds like someone could use a hug. Close your eyes and imagine this soup as a warm embrace between bubbe's bosom.

Matzo Ball Soup
Via metrocafediner.com
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You got: Chocolate Chip Pancakes a la Mode

Okay. So. You get chocolate chip pancakes and your pal gets M&M. Swap half and arrange in alternating layers, cut a hole in the middle of the stack, insert ice cream ball inside, and pour syrup on top for a sugary Mount Vesuvius. LIFE IS WONDERFUL WHEN YOU'RE IN THE WORLD.

Chocolate Chip Pancakes a la Mode
Via foodnetwork.sndimg.com
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You got: Gyro Meat

No tzatziki. No pita. No raw vegetables to slow you down. Stand at this beacon of beef and eat it like cotton candy on a stick.

Gyro Meat
Via api.ning.com
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You got: Grapefruit and Black Coffee

Diner ≠ Cafe. Was this trip ironic or did the New Yorker send you here?

Grapefruit and Black Coffee
Via ak.picdn.net
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