HERE'S THE DEAL: The AFP is reporting that corgis are headed to the endangered dog breed list, or more specifically the "vulnerable native dog breed" list. This is not good. This is a nightmare. This is tragic.
This is why we need to save the corgis. Below you will read 71 other reasons why they must be saved. Please do your part in spreading the word. DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN.
1. Corgis are in 62% of all photos of real-life animals posing with stuffed animal versions of themselves.
2. They are an intricate part of fall leaf cleanup in the state of Wisconsin.
3. And they also wear tiny black capes.
4. The tiny black cape industry will likely collapse without corgis.
5. Corgis are influential stretchers.
6. They are one of only a handful of dog breeds that can read actual human books.
7. They can also drive buses.
8. Corgis are major influencers in the Halloween industry.
9. This photo of corgis dressed up as candy corn actually caused a surge in candy corn sales. The corgi impact is real.
10. Corgis can fly planes.
11. They are masters at the "koala impression."
12. More recently, corgis have been exploring other artistic endeavors like sand castle building.
13. They've been an intricate part of the recent interpretive dance movement.
14. Fashion wise, I think it's safe to say they're the ones who brought bow ties back.
15. I mean, come on, look at this guy with those sunglasses. Instantly iconic.
16. They're also the ones who actually invented the popular internet meme called "breading." Fuck you, cats.
17. Photography wise, they make the best of subjects.
18. They have many excellent expressions...
19. ...which makes them very versatile in the industry.
20. Work, bitch. See.
21. Have I mentioned all of the lives they have saved this year? Hundreds.
22. They're responsible for one-twelfth of this year's American lobster trade.
23. One-sixtieth of all new businesses this year have been started by corgis, including this brilliant teddy-corgi one.
24. And they'll even do your laundry!
25. Note: They may also vacuum for you. Depends on the corg.
26. Corgis are great at policing. Unlike human officers, corgis stay rational. They also wear bow ties.
27. They're also just cool. I know that's shallow, but hey, it's a fact.
28. Corgis are poised to make their biggest impact at next year's Olympic games. A record three corgis are going to compete in downhill skiing.
29. Really, they're just great in snow.
30. For you breeders, corgis are advocates for playground safety.
31. They have revolutionized the herding of faux sheep.
32. They're master impressionists.
33. And will also drive you home when you've had too much to drink.
34. They love dressing up for your entertainment.
35. And if you're busy, you can just put them in a swing. They'll stay entertained for hours.
36. This photo of a corgi in a wig has increased tourism for Ireland by 15%.
37. And this photo increased sales of stone walls by 7%. Their economic impact is tremendous.
38. Politically, corgis have made great in progress in inter-dog communication.
39. They've basically brought great peace to the dog world.
40. Corgis are quickly becoming "pin-leaders" on Pinterest for their great "sibling reveals."
41. Really, no one is doing this on Pinterest right now except corgis.
42. One-fifth of all corgis go onto higher education.
43. The other four-fifths just love to party, which is also chill and fun.
44. Have a bunch of balloons? No problem! Corgis are great at guarding them.
45. They fit in bags, which is cool.
46. They can rap.
47. They will literally sit in your mailbox and fetch your mail.
48. And they defy all laws of gravity.
49. Corgis have also heavily invested in the grocery-store machine-toy market.
50. They love cake.
51. And some corgis, not all, are great personal shoppers. A growing industry in Corgi Nation.
52. It must also be noted that corgis look cute on a set of stairs.
53. They look cute on car rides.
54. They look cute on a freshly mowed lawns.
55. They look cute sleeping.
56. GODDAMMIT, THEY ALWAYS LOOK SO FRIGGIN CUTE.
57. Also, can you imagine a world without CORGI PUPPIES?
58. CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE?
59. A world without corgi puppies is like a world without oxygen.
60. I CAN'T EVEN BREATHE AT THE THOUGHT.
61. I am gasping for air.
62. We would all basically die.
63. Humankind would cease to exist.
64. We would all go to hell and live in a constant, never-ending nightmare.
65. It would suck.
66. Like, really, really suck.
67. Because THERE WOULD BE NO CORGI PUPPIES IN HELL.
68. In conclusion, SAVE THE CORGIS.
69. SAVE THEM ALL.
70. DO IT FOR THE CHILDREN (OR JUST FOR YOURSELF IF YOU'RE SELFISH LIKE ME).
71. FINAL THOUGHT: Who will ride all of the bicycles made out of dreams?!