tasty

Let’s Cut The Shit, Tapas Are The Worst

Enough.

Ding dong ding dong. Ring the church bells and gather the people. It’s time to cut the shit and stop pretending tapas are fun.

1. First of all, it’s always way more expensive than it should be because each plate costs like $16.

When the plate of food comes out you’re literally always like “that’s it” for “that much.” The worst.

2. The restaurant always “recommends” like three plates per person which means it’s like $1k for a meal.

Nope!

3. You can get a big plate at a normal restaurant for the amount of money you spend on a tiny one at a tapas restaurant.

There is no logic!

4. Not everyone likes the same shit so you’re screwing your friend who doesn’t like calamari or whatever.

Half the time you’re praying you didn’t fuck up and get something totally weird. Half the time you totally do.

5. There is never ever, EVER enough food.

6. If you like a dish, then you get two orders of it and it still isn’t enough.

Sad!

7. If you’re with five people and there are four things on the plate then someone is getting fucked.

8. You have to be “dainty” when you take the food. You don’t want to be the asshole that takes more than everyone.

9. It’s animalistic: When the food comes you’re just looking at it the entire time stressed you won’t get your fair share.

10. It’s like a fight to the death for the last scrap of food.

Literally everyone is just eyeing that last piece of food. Sharing. Food. Is. Not. Fun. It’s awful!

11. It’s a lot of work. Too much ordering.

When you order tapas you need to designate an “orderer.” That person is then responsible for covering everyone’s needs. No one wants to be that person!

12. Lastly, the overall idea is flawed and just not realistic.

It’s a nice idea in theory but it just doesn’t work. Tiny plates and big people don’t mix. Humans are animals and to have to fight over tiny plates of food is not fun!

#canceltapas2017

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