Why I Want To Be Nicki Minaj’s Ass

Basically, how the “Anaconda” video changed my life.

1. Like many a gay, I woke up this morning very excited to see Nicki Minaj’s new music video, “Anaconda.”

2. And to be totally real with you, I was fairly slayed. For a song that is pretty whatever and mediocre, this video is rilly good.

3. BUTT, to be completely honest, the biggest feeling I felt while watching this video was extreme ass envy.

4. I want to be Nicki Minaj’s ass.

5. I want to be in the jungle on some sort of raft gyrating on the ground.

6. I want to flow out of jean jorts thumping on the ground in an actual flattering manner.

7. I want to be in a white room on a metallic chair with my cheeks to the sky.

8. I want to maintain flawless form with 2-pound weights.

9. And I’ve never told anyone this, but I secretly think it would be so fun to wear a pink G-string doing sexy half-naked yoga…


11. And if I were Nicki Minaj’s ass then I would be on Drake’s D.

12. Drake would be lit’rally holding his mouth while looking at me.

13. And I would leave Drake sitting there with a big ole b*!


14. Mostly, I want to be Nicki Minaj’s ass because it’s actually hypnotizing…

15. …and by hypnotizing, I mean dickmotizing.

16. If I were Nicki Minaj’s ass, I would literally own all the dicks.

17. I would be winning the game (well, not iTunes).

18. Slaying your faves (not on iTunes).

19. And, bold statement, attached to rap’s current most important MC!!!

Check out more articles on BuzzFeed.com!

  Your Reaction?

    Starting soon, you'll only be able to post a comment on BuzzFeed using a Facebook account or via our app. If you have questions or thoughts, email us here.


    Now Buzzing