1. WAHHHH WAHHH WAHHH. CRY CRY CRY. I’M A WIDDLE BABY.
2. WAHHHH LOOK AT MY SAD DROOPY BANGS.
3. WAHHHH I MISS MY DIAMOND STUDDED EARRINGS!
4. Well… LISTEN UP, BITCH.
5. WE. DON’T. GIVE. A. DAMN.
6. You are good for one thing.
7. * Makes protest signs. Moves to Brazil. Sets up tents outside some arena or on the beach or something. Begins Occupy Ronaldo movement. Doesn’t shower for days. Starts chant *
8. “WHAT DO WE WANT?”
9. “Biceps, triceps, nipples, chest, abs, and a nice hot back!”
10. * CONTINUES CHANT *
11. “WE DEMAND”
12. “BICEPS, TRICEPS, NIPPLES, CHEST, ABS, AND A NICE HOT BACK.”
13. “WHEN DO WE WANT IT?!”
14. “RIGHT. THE FUCK. NOW… or at least the next time you play soccer.”
15. Because frankly we deserve it and you look like shit when you’re crying like a sad baby.
16. And you look like a thousand times better with your shirt off.
20. And you know what, I’ll take an order of man on man action with that too please.
21. Rub that chest. Thank you and goodnight.
- It's the third day of the Democratic National Convention. Here's where things stand 🇺🇸
- Prosecutors have dropped remaining charges against Baltimore police officers related to the death of Freddie Gray.
- The man who tried to kill President Reagan in 1981 will be freed from a psychiatric hospital, a judge ruled.