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19 Foods You Can Always Steal From Your Roommate

This is scientific.

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Before you read this it's important you understand the golden rule: It's never, EVER, under any circumstance, OK to open an unopened package of food that doesn't belong to you. It should be assumed that all the food listed below is from an already opened package.

17. Anything in a Ziploc bag

Twitter: @kennadee84

Ziploc bags are your best friend is you're the shitty food stealing roommate. A handful of whatever's in a full bag is up for grabs. For example, crackers. You can have a bunch of bagged crackers. Your roommate isn't gonna snap if you eat a fucking cracker.


12. A small glass of wine

Twitter: @Mehpersonified

So, people KNOW how much wine they have left when they put a cork back into it. That said, it's pretty easy to get a small glass. That also said, it's also kind of stupid because who wants just one baby glass of wine. Go out and get your own, you goof.


5. A scoop of ice cream, but not like the "meat" of the work

Twitter: @MaxMastodon

Ice cream is one of the most stolen roommate foods. On no condition should you finish a roommate's pint of ice cream. If you want to take ONE SCOOP then that's fine, but you should never, EVER, take like a huge chunk of cookie dough or brownie. That's messed up.


4. A small plate of leftovers (depending on the situation)

Twitter: @bioloyg

Fried rice? Yes. Pizza? A sliver (not a full slice). Buffalo wings? Nope. Only if there's a dozen. It all depends on the type of food. If you are stealing a UNIT of the food, like one full chicken finger, that's a big FUCK NO.

1. Cheese

Twitter: @j_sprung

Cheese is my favorite thing to take from a roommate. It's also the most risky. The problem with cheese is that you can only take a sliver, if you take more than that they will be really fucking pissed because having your cheese stolen is the worst. The absolute fucking worst.