NSYNC’s “This I Promise You” video is a truly bizarre piece of work. It’s a “symbolic” cluster fuck of bubbles, turtlenecks, and JC Chasez’s loud ass pants. Like all culturally important things, it’s worth exploring and analyzing. Let’s figure this out.
1. First off, the bubbles. How? What? Why? Have these old people never seen them before?
Like who hasn’t seen bubbles before?
2. Also are we supposed to believe that the bubbles from that little girl + surprised old people are traveling to a forest where a bunch of men wearing pleather and turtlenecks are?
3. Are they supposed to be forest fairies?
4. Do forest fairies wear turtlenecks?
5. What are the turtlenecks?
6. Where is that fog coming from? It seems humid. I’d have to believe that the turtleneck is weather inappropriate. Did they forget to check Weather.com?
7. Why is this man drawing woman on a bench?
8. Can you imagine sitting on a bench and a man motions to you and then shows you a creepy ass sketch of yourself.
9. Like why isn’t she freaking the fuck out when he shows her the drawing?! That’s creepy as all hell.
10. Who designed and sculpted Chris’ facial hair?
11. What does it mean when Joey catches a bubble? Is he capturing a memory? Is this the future?
12. What does it feel like to turn into a bubble?
13. What does it feel like to turn into a bubble and then toss your own bubble self?
14. They gave Chris a bubble. That’s nice.
15. What are these pants?
16. JC, WHAT ARE THESE PANTS?
17. Why are these people making out in a flock of pigeons?
18. Seriously who makes out in the middle of a flock of pigeons?
19. How doesn’t anyone notice a group of 5 guys with various levels of frosted hair singing at a table?
20. Is that chocolate milk or a milkshake?
21. What is Lance vibing to? What is wrong with Joey?
22. IDK. This is just funny.
23. IDK still funny but this time in a bubble.
24. Who spells the name “Jillian” with a “G.”?
25. Lastly, where is Chris Kirkpatrick at this moment right now?
Someday, people. Someday. The answers are out there.
- Miami Marlins star pitcher José Fernández has died in a boating accident. He was 24.