The National Park Service's Account On X Is One Of The Funniest Things On That Godforsaken Website
"Your chances of being hunted by a turkey are low, but never zero." —the National Park Service.
Twitter or X or whatever you want to call it has generally been a pretty dark place lately...
But that's not entirely true!
I stumbled across the National Park Service's account, and it's actually very, very funny.
Here are some of my favorite posts:
Feeling cute. May move across the room later. pic.twitter.com/nYTvI0S2iN
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) October 19, 2023
Your chances of being hunted by a turkey are low, but never zero.
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) November 22, 2023
Happy #NationalFossilDay! pic.twitter.com/QvYvo1N43G
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) October 11, 2023
As you walk down a trail, use a stick to make first contact with potential webs, unless you prefer using your face. Do what feels right.
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) August 21, 2023
Having friends is cool, but have you ever cut everyone off and disappeared for six months?
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) September 9, 2023
Bear: Yes. Yes I have. pic.twitter.com/GDOuSLQEUn
Ever take a nap so good that you woke up and thought you missed work? But it’s Sunday. And you’re an egret. pic.twitter.com/8RGqv3UIww
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) September 10, 2023
Ask us again. pic.twitter.com/5dzSlqN1Rj
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) September 12, 2023
Wildlife just wants to be left alone. Don’t we all?
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) September 27, 2023
Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's neighbelline. pic.twitter.com/RunWlNPEHs
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) July 13, 2023
“Ain’t nothin’ gonna to break my stride. Nobody gonna slow me down, oh no…” 🐢
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) July 19, 2023
🎥: Snapping turtle on the move at @PicturedRocksNL pic.twitter.com/w4m5nFtd1v
At first I was a tree, now I’m petrified. Thinking all my wooden rings had turned to stone inside. I will survive...I will survive! 🎶 🎤 pic.twitter.com/jVSIxFE6rn
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) April 5, 2023
When you get out of the shower and sit on the bed trying to get yourself pumped up to get dressed and start your day. pic.twitter.com/1DJMt6wBAf
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) July 10, 2023
Take a picture, it’ll last longer.
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) September 20, 2023
Felt cute, might shoot blood out of eyes later…
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) May 19, 2023
📸: @BandelierNPS pic.twitter.com/2V87tB1C6b
This sea otter heard it was Friday, which actually means nothing to the sea otter.
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) July 28, 2023
📸: Sea otter at @KenaiFjordsNPS#FridayFeeling 🦦 pic.twitter.com/vCoc7HBf3n
One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you.
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) July 5, 2023
It’s probably going to be a squirrel.
I throw my arms up in the air sometimes…Saying ayeoh, I’m a saguaro. 🌵
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) March 14, 2023
📸: @SaguaroNPS pic.twitter.com/5VlANvS94G
It’s ok if you fall apart sometimes. S’mores fall apart, and we still love them.
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) March 27, 2023
“I’m sorry Jack, there’s just not enough room…” pic.twitter.com/fkUDe0dvJG
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) April 8, 2023
Why are salamanders so happy?
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) April 27, 2023
They eat whatever bugs them. pic.twitter.com/OOXMFqmPAG
Leaf. It’s what’s for dinner.
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) May 9, 2023
📸:@RedwoodNPS pic.twitter.com/pu5tzj3Fev
#NationalTrailsDay pic.twitter.com/1vQsOd6mne
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) June 3, 2023
If it runs into itself, game over. pic.twitter.com/AIKNTYJ7kr
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) June 13, 2023
Hike in groups. Bears like to have options
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) June 10, 2023
It’s not the heat that gets you, it’s the dinosaurs. 🦖 pic.twitter.com/OcXRKtfmft
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) June 29, 2023
You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) January 18, 2023
And lastly...
If you come across a bear, never push a slower friend down…even if you feel the friendship has run its course.
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) February 28, 2023