A Ranking Of All 50 People In "Love Actually"

This was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

50. Harry

Universal Pictures

No disrespect to the dead, but Harry was the fucking worst. His wife is cool as hell and he still tries to fuck with Mia. God, fuck this dude!

49. Daisy, Karen's daughter

Universal Pictures

Boring and sad.

48. Jamie's Brother

Universal Pictures

Sleeps with his brother's girlfriend. A sneaky little shit. Awful.

47. Ant and Dec

Universal Pictures

TV presenters with spiky, gelled hair. Very early 2000s. Sad.

46. Mia

Universal Pictures

A villain. Dresses up as the devil for a Christmas party. WHO DOES THAT?!

45. The President of the United States

Universal Pictures

An asshole. A bad look for the USA. Not a good politician.

44. The DJ at Peter and Juliet's wedding

Universal Pictures

He's labeled "the worst DJ ever." Bad reputation. Not a good look.

43. Jamie's Girlfriend

Universal Pictures

She's literally sick in the beginning which is gross. She also cheats on Jamie with his brother. Not cool.

42. The old lady who answers the door when the prime minister is looking for Natalie

Universal Pictures

It takes her about two minutes to realize the prime minister is at her door. Get it together, lady.

41. The little kids who answer the door when the prime minister is looking for Natalie

Universal Pictures

Why are these kids answering the door in the middle of the night? Where are their parents? Sad.

40. Mary

Universal Pictures

She moves the Japanese ambassador meeting to four. Helpful lady.

39. Pat, the housekeeper

Claudia Schiffer

Cleans stuff. Seems nice?

38. Terrence, in charge

His job is literally "being in charge."

37. The priest that marries Juliet and Peter

Universal

A man of God. From what we see, he's good at his job.

36. Nancy, the caterer

Universal Pictures

She's the caterer for Juliet and Peter's wedding. Has cool hair.

35. Annie

Universal Pictures

An efficient women who keeps the prime minister in line. Totally whatever as a character, though. Next!

34. Harriet

Universal Pictures

Comes back with Colin to the UK for some reason. Has a southern accent even though she's from Wisconsin. Strange.

33. Karla

Universal Pictures

She doesn't have an accent even though she's Harriet's sister. She kisses Tony right away even though she doesn't know him. Weird.

32. The Christmas Lobsters

Universal Pictures

Unconventional. Artsy fartsy. A statement on the "war on Christmas."

31. Eleanor

Universal Pictures

The housekeeper for Jamie in France. She's kind of like an Airbnb host. Hip?

30. Daniel's wife (RIP)

Universal Pictures

Technically not alive. Judging from her eulogy, she seemed like a good person and had a good taste in music.

29. Mark

Universal Pictures

Actually pretty fucking creepy. He literally creep shots Juliet for his own private videos. Obsessed with his friend's wife. Problematic.

28. Aurelia's father

Universal Pictures

Kind of mean but also kind of funny.

27. Aurelia's sister

Universal Pictures

Jealous of Aurelia. Doesn't believe in true love. Sad.

26. Carol

Universal Pictures

Claudia Schiffer. Wears a cool hat.

25. Peter

Universal Pictures

Basic character and pretty irrelevant. He hates Christmas carolers.

24. Stacey

Universal Pictures

Loves British accents.

23. Genie

Universal Pictures

Also loves British accents.

22. Carol-Anne

Universal Pictures

Loves British accents the most.

21. Tony

Universal Pictures

Directs porn and keeps Colin in check. Cool dude. A good friend.

20. Sarah

Universal Pictures

Kind of depressing. A buzzkill. Overrated and sad.

19. Joanna Anderson

Universal Pictures

Does a totally decent cover of "All I Want For Christmas Is You." Mariah is shaking.

18. Karl

Universal Pictures

Boring character but high up on the list because holy shit. His body.

17. Juliet

Universal Pictures

Wears funky hats and has no idea Andrew Lincoln is in love with her. She's annoying at first but gets better as the movie goes on. Peaks when she kisses Mark. Overrated.

16. Daniel

Universal Pictures

Can be a little much. Best friends with a child. Kind of weird.

15. Colin

Universal Pictures

TBH he's kind of problematic!!! He literally goes to Wisconsin because he thinks more girls will sleep with him. Yes, he's cute, but sweetie I'm so sorry, grow up!

14. These people hugging at the airport in the beginning

Universal Pictures

Makes me cry for some reason. IDK.

13. The Christmas Octopus

Universal Pictures

Iconic.

12. Mr. Bean

Universal Pictures

I just like Mr. Bean, TBH.

11. John

Universal Pictures

A nice guy who doubles as a porn stand-in. Cool job. A little awk but it's endearing. I stan.

10. We hate Uncle Jamie kids

Universal Pictures

Because duh.

9. Sam

Universal Pictures

Cute and funny looking. A threat to national security when he runs past security in the airport. I'm not a big fan of "children in love" storylines but his and Joanna Anderson's gets me every time.

8. Jamie

Universal Pictures

The most underrated character in the movie. He gets fucked over quite a bit (especially when his entire book blows in the water). Arguably 1/2 of the best love story in the movie.

7. Aurelia

Universal Pictures

I know there are some Aurelia haters out there, but f*ck all of you. She's great. "It's the saddest part of my day, leaving you." CHILLS.

6. Just Judy

Universal Pictures

A true sweetheart. The queen of standing in on porn shoots. I really feel like she has a gentle soul. Big fan!

5. Karen

Universal Pictures

Cool mom. Shitty husband. Sad storyline. Hope she finds happiness someday.

4. Joe

Universal Pictures

Joe is the best. A real underdog. I die when Billy hugs him at the end. So cute.

3. Natalie

Universal Pictures

Love Natalie. A great character. Love her raw and realness (she swears). I love that she's *working class* and gets the prime minister in the end. If I was straight or a lesbian, I maybe would have a crush on her.

2. The prime minister

Universal Pictures

Hugh Grant is great. Haters will say otherwise because they are sad and bitter. Love his dopiness, love that he doesn't have any kids, and love when he dances to the Pointer Sisters in the parliament house (or whatever it's called.) When will Obama?!

1. Billy Mack

Universal Pictures

THE. BEST. CHARACTER. IN. THE. MOVIE. He's funny, talented, and in love with Joe. His song is actually pretty good too. A new Christmas classic. Yes, queen.

Correction: I took Sarah's brother out of the ranking because it wasn't cool. That gave me the opportunity to add the "we hate Uncle Jamie kids" into their rightful place in the top 10.