back to top

24 Reminders That A Professional Soccer Players' Locker Room Is Better Than Disneyland

Heaven is real and it's inside the locker room after a soccer game.

Posted on

*Whispers*

Forget Disneyland, I have a key to the happiest place on Earth.

Wavebreakmedia Ltd / Getty Images

Come along, now. Follow me. Don't be scared.

Edward Bock / Getty Images

Just keep on walking towards the light and slight scent of body odor and dirt.

Wavebreakmedia Ltd / Getty Images

1. We're here.

2. You're in the inside of a professional soccer players' locker room.

3. A place where partially nude men are constantly lumped onto each other.

4. A place where partially nude group gyration is the norm.

5. And a place where Speedos are rampant.

6. It's a place where butts are rubbed...

7. ...and beers are shared.

8. So much butt rubbing.

9. So much rubbing in general.

10. It's the place where selfies actually mean something.

11. The place where slutty mirror selfies originate.

12. The place where a bunch of hot naked guys hang out together...

13. ...play together...

14. ...hold trophies in their underwear together...

15. ...and get accidental boners together.

16. It's magic.

17. More importantly, it's a place where players get clean.

18. A place where lifelong connections are made.

19. And a place where champagne is poured over naked men and it's TOTALLY OK.

20. Sooooo, drop your towels!

21. Grab a few beers!

22. And take mad selfies.

23. Welcome to the best place on Earth.

24. I hope you enjoyed your stay!

Now, please, take a sip of water.

You need it.
Ratmaner / Getty Images

You need it.

The best things at three price points