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Posted on Dec 16, 2014

Shut Up And Sit Down, Britney Spears Looks Incredible On Her Women's Health Cover

There are two sides to every story. And this is the right one.

HI HATERS. We have a problem that needs to be addressed.

It involves this magazine cover and flawless snapshots of a goddamn legend in the HOTTEST SHAPE OF HER LIFE.

Women's Health Magazine

THE. HOTTEST. SHAPE. OF. HER. GOD. DAMN. LIFE.

Women's Health Magazine

You see, people are saying that Britney Spears looks "weird" in this photo shoot. That her nose isn't "quite right." That she was "overly photoshopped."

Women's Health Magazine

WELL, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I think your eyes are broken.

I spoke to, like, about 37 makeup artists who have told me that basically y'all are legit crazy because these pictures are SO CLEARLY the product of extreme contouring.

Women's Health Magazine

IT'S 2014, PEOPLE. WHY ARE WE STILL EXTREME-CONTOUR SHAMING?!?!

Also, we have ACTUAL GIF evidence that she looked absolutely incredible in the moving flesh.

E! News does NOT HAVE the time (I think) to photoshop a minute-long segment. That's fucking preposterous.

She's a mother of two, people. You think she would stand for the fuckery you are suggesting? I think not.

Women's Health Magazine

Why don't we talk about the real issues? The things that matter, like her incredible body. She's a mom, people! A goddamn mom!

Women's Health Magazine

Be courteous to your most high Creator. You are literally here because she was gracious enough to spit you out of her holy vag.

Now, excuse me while I wiggle my hips and try to forget this NIGHTMARE.

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