Woodstock '94 was fine, whatever.
Steve Eichner / WireImage
No offense but it wasn't memorable. My brother said Green Day performed there or something.
Woodstock '99 was a gross shit-show disaster.
New York Daily News Archive / Getty Images
At the time, MTV said, and I quote: "The air smelled of burning garbage, as well as urine and feces."
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And with news that Woodstock is coming back for the 50th anniversary this year, I thought it was fitting to revisit the original Woodstock.
It's time #Woodstock50☮️♥️🎵
1. The first Woodstock took place over 3 days in August 1969.
John Dominis / The LIFE Picture Collection/Gett
2. 50,000 people were expected...but nearly 1 million showed up.
New York Daily News Archive / Getty Images
3. Like people were sleeping in cemeteries.
John Dominis / The LIFE Picture Collection/Gett
4. But, somehow, SOMEHOW, it didn't devolve into a Fyre Fest shit storm.
John Dominis / The LIFE Picture Collection/Gett
I mean, to be honest, there was 1 toilet per 833 people. Also, two people died. One got ran over by a tractor, the other was a drug overdose, sooo yeah.
5. Everyone was naked, and also pretty hot.
Silver Screen Collection / Getty Images
6. Naked...and hot.
Bill Eppridge / The LIFE Picture Collection/Gett
7. There were hippies on poles.
John Dominis / The LIFE Picture Collection/Gett
8. Hippies on cars.
Bill Eppridge / The LIFE Picture Collection/Gett
9. Hippies making hot dogs.
Bill Eppridge / The LIFE Picture Collection/Gett
10. Hippies strung out under umbrellas.
Bill Eppridge / The LIFE Picture Collection/Gett
11. Hippies sleeping on cars.
Bill Eppridge / The LIFE Picture Collection/Gett
12. Hippies feeding babies watermelon.
Ralph Ackerman / Getty Images
13. Hippies cleaning up trash.
Bill Eppridge / The LIFE Picture Collection/Gett
14. Just so many hippies.
Bill Eppridge / The LIFE Picture Collection/Gett
15. Everyone looked like they worked at Urban Outfitters.
Ralph Ackerman / Getty Images
16. *Glares at you while you shop*
Ralph Ackerman / Getty Images
17. Everyone looked like what the people who go to Coachella aspire to look like...
Bill Eppridge / The LIFE Premium Collection/Gett
18. ...except these people didn't go for new content for their Instagrams.
John Dominis / The LIFE Picture Collection/Gett
19. Vanessa Hudgens wishes.
Bill Eppridge / The LIFE Picture Collection/Gett
20. Shia LaBeouf could only hope.
Bill Eppridge / The LIFE Picture Collection/Gett
21. There were weed stands.
John Dominis / The LIFE Picture Collection/Gett
22. There were dirty toe rings.
Bill Eppridge / The LIFE Picture Collection/Gett
23. Cool hats.
Ralph Ackerman / Getty Images
24. Jeans for $5.
Michael Ochs Archives / Getty Images
25. Have I mentioned all the hot naked people?
Bill Eppridge / The LIFE Picture Collection/Gett
26. Volunteers were making food for everyone.
Bill Eppridge / The LIFE Picture Collection/Gett
27. This man put a chair on his head.
Bill Eppridge / The LIFE Picture Collection/Gett
28. She got stuck in mud.
Bill Eppridge / The LIFE Picture Collection/Gett
29. In an impressive display of teamwork and grace, these people balanced cardboard on their heads.
John Dominis / The LIFE Picture Collection/Gett
30. A woman that literally could be from 2019.
Ralph Ackerman / Getty Images
31. Basically, this *might* be the only time in history a music festival was cool.
Ralph Ackerman / Getty Images
32. The one, the only, the legendary: Woodstock '69.
John Dominis / The LIFE Picture Collection/Gett
33. Instagram ruins everything. The end.
Ralph Ackerman / Getty Images
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