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    The 17 Greatest Football Players Of All-Time (As Decided By My Gay-Ass)

    A definitive and completely accurate list for anyone with taste.

    1. Beyoncé Knowles

    Ezra Shaw / Getty Images

    2. Britney Spears

    Kmazur / WireImage for NFL

    3. Lady Gaga

    Timothy A. Clary / AFP / Getty Images

    4. Mariah Carey

    Timothy A. Clary / AFP / Getty Images

    5. Jennifer Lopez

    Scott Gries / Getty Images

    6. Madonna

    Scott Halleran / Getty Images

    7. Stacey Fergusson

    Frank Micelotta / Getty Images

    8. Kelly Clarkson

    Ronald Martinez / Getty Images

    9. Mary J. Blige

    / Getty Images

    10. Aretha Franklin

    Frank Micelotta / Getty Images

    11. Beyoncé again

    Getty Images

    12. Shania Twain

    Ezra Shaw / Getty Images

    13. Paris Hilton

    Riccardo Savi / Getty Images

    14. Katy Perry, I guess?

    Icon Sports Wire / Getty Images

    15. Cher

    Al Pereira

    16. Shakira

    Icon Sportswire / Getty Images

    17. And Idina Menzel

    Icon Sports Wire / Corbis/Icon Sportswire via Getty

    Can't wait for the Super Bowl!

    Kmazur

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