1. The legendary, newly single, Miss Britney Spears made her fairy-tale debut with not 1, but 2 blended drinks!
2. A few days after the blended drink bonanza, Britney went out for a fun little drive with her girlfriend. Little did we know…
3. BOOM. THUNDER. IT HAPPENED. Subtleney showed us her ring-free hand.
4. *Ding dong* Then Churchney came out to play.
5. Even though she was pretty much wearing a tablecloth, Churchney still looked v. cute.
6. And those legs. Sweet baby J!
7. Anyways, bye Churchney!
8. Then we met Rite Aidney!
9. <3 Rite Aidney <3
10. A couple days after that, girl got herself a tall Tazo tea!
11. Did I mention she was glowing again?
13. Then Shopney came out to play.
14. With a humongous chai tea, of course!
15. “Chaiiiiii teeeaaaaaaaaaaa”
16. “I’m happy”
17. “I love being single and I look incredible and I love chai tea, y’all!!!!”
18. To wrap things up, even Targetney is whistling.
19. *Whistles* *Drinks orange soda*
You are looking fucking great, Britney! Single looks so good on you.
- It's the third day of the Democratic National Convention. Here's where things stand 🇺🇸