I Need A Safe Place To Talk About Nicolas Cage And His New Girlfriend And All The Weird Things They've Been Doing Together Lately

    Tomb date <3

    Nicolas Cage has had a new girlfriend for a couple months now.

    Her name is Riko Shibata and she's 26 and he's 56. But what do I care?! They're two consenting adults!! Age ain't nothing but a number, baby!

    I first heard of the happy couple when I saw that Nic had taken her on a date to visit his tomb in New Orleans.

    How romantic!

    They've been all over town for the last month, and I've quickly become invested in their relationship because I am a loser with no life.

    The two have been spotted carrying a stuffed beluga whale animal.

    They were also seen using hand sanitizer.

    One time they wore matching black leather pants for a date to the Natural History Museum.

    Another time they took a horse carriage ride in the park.

    What a look!

    So yeah, they go on tomb dates, wear matching clothes, and sanitize their hands together. Love it.

    Good luck, you two!

    And one last thing, I'd like to point out how love looks good on you, Nic!

    Here's a picture before he met Riko:

    After here's a picture after:

    I'd say that's an upgrade. Happy for you, Mr. Cage!