1.Why would you want to watch some dusty old dude with a dumb look on his face, let's call him Phil, make blanket statements about chaos and ladders...
...when you could watch Taylor Swift dress up as Katy Perry, get in a car accident, pull a random Grammy out of nowhere, and let the world know that Katy doesn't in fact have one.
2.Why watch a show with a bunch of vikings that I'm guessing don't regularly bathe so they probably smell like semen, BO, and dirt...
...when you could watch some semi-awkward but totally legit choreography featuring dudes in crop-tops and stiletto heels.
3.Why watch something about sorority houses and rush week or something...
...when you could watch a snake pour tea. When's the last time you saw that?
4.Why watch some dude make some poor lady indulge in his sick beard tickling fetish (no offense to beard ticklers)...
...when you could watch a mountain of Taylor Swift's rip each other apart?
5.Why watch people cock-shaming...
...when you could watch Taylor Swift rob a streaming factory (those exist) and burn money just because she's rich?
6.But seriously... what is it with the cocks?
I'd personally much rather watch Taylor Swift and her leather daddy motorcycle gang hang out in a stinky alley.
7.Tell me this: Why would you want to watch some guy literally just blink next to a fire (they don't even have electricity!)....
...when you could get exclusive access to Taylor Swift's secret factory of female friends?
8.Like really, why watch some second-rate dragon shit...
...when you could watch Taylor Swift literally rot?!
9.Now, I'm not much of a "scroll queen" but why would you want to watch a guy with *that* tiny of a scroll...
...when you could watch a lady with a bad, but relevant, silver old lady cap thing.
10.And hey, I love me a butt BUT I can barely see that shit!
I'll take this any day! (Just kidding I'd still take the butt).
11.Do you sick fucks take pleasure in watching guys lift heavy boxes...
...because my kink is Taylor Swift snapping and putting hidden messages on her 8th grade graduation inspired shirt?
12.Lastly, who would want to watch some sad girls stare at some shit over a snowy wall...
...when you could see Taylor Swift celebrate her own crucifixion atop a mountain of her messy former selves.
Now please, excuse me while I wait for your loving comments <3
