Long, long ago, one day ago, the world economy was basically dead. The people were hungry, nations were fighting, and peace and harmony were a dying dream. No one was working.
Sept. 14, 2013
Then, in a moment that no one quite expected, our shining star and radiant queen, the legendary Miss Britney Spears, turned her radiant countenance toward us. With a message.
Sept. 15, 2013
"Work Bitch" is released.
The call had been sounded.
And our governors listened.
Unemployment dropped 3%.
People stopped eating too much...
...and people started drinking enough.
Even the most hopeless among us found inspiration.
Things that had previously failed started working.
The entire auto industry...
THRIVING.
The Liberty Bell...
RINGING.
The Leaning Tower of Pisa...
UNLEANED.
Subway foot-long subs...
ACTUALLY A FOOT LONG.
Turmoil, poverty, and homelessness in general...
Solved.
In conclusion:
Amen.