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We Really, Really Need To Talk About Turkish Oil Wrestling

I somehow forgot about Turkish oil wrestling but then remembered it so I decided to make a BuzzFeed post.

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Ladies, ladies! Simmer down. Stop throwing that dang ball! Fucking chill, Bernice!

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And you, Brenda Joan, DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK. We know you're always the thirstiest of them all. Get your water, girl. You are going to like.

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Buckle up, b*tches (term of endearment), here we go.

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We've gathered here today to talk about something near and dear to my problematically thirsty heart.

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Welcome to my "Happy Place."

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No, I'm not talking about Happy Gilmore with Chubbs playing the piano and the lady from Modern Family coming out of a pond with a pitcher of beer, I'm talking about a Turkish oil wrestling match.

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Yes, sweetie dolls, this is real.

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Turkish oil wrestling is cool because men in leather capris are doused in olive oil. Then they wrestle.

Gurcan Ozturk / AFP / Getty Images

It's quite the occasion!

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There's plenty of teamwork.

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There's plenty of competition.

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There's really just a lot happening.

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The fun never stops!

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What a fine job this man is doing.

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What excellent oil spreadage.

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Think of the smell: olive oil and grass. Not bad.

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Get 'er done!

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ANYWAY, before I somehow forget, the thing that makes Turkish oil wresting better than regular wrestling is the caliber of the athlete.

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Each and every one of of them are cool and unique and Turkish and covered in oil.

Gurcan Ozturk / AFP / Getty Images

Great posture.

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Cool athletic ability.

Gurcan Ozturk / AFP / Getty Images

Just think about how smooth his skin must be.

Gurcan Ozturk / AFP / Getty Images

I feel moisturized with the natural properties of olive oil by just looking at this pic. Impact!

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Yes.

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Literally "aw."

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To wrap it up here are two portraits of great Turkish wrestlers.

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: D

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The world isn't such a bad place after all!

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